I am the oldest child and want to take care of my mother. Mom does not want to go back into nursing home. What can I do?


My mom's sister is POA, and wants to keep my mom in nursing home or a hospital. Mom does good with me and told me she did not want to go back into nursing home. What can I do if mom agrees with me?

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I think when people say POA they mean financial and medical. They "usually" go hand in hand. If Mom is inca nursing home, she has been evaluated and comes under their criteria. Definitally if on Medicaid. None of our parents want to be where they r at this stage. My Mom didn't want to be in my home. And "home" can be anywhere their mind is at that time. Could be childhood home. It is very hard to place someone into a nursing home. I will assume that Mom had a form of Dementia. As this progresses, she will need more and more care. There is a stage they become violent. Incontinent. Do feel you can bathe and toilet Mom. Be there 24/7. Because, you can't leave her alone for extended periods and she may not want a stranger babysitting or caring for her. Then its getting no sleep because she wanders at night. Its a lot of responsibility andcwill be hard to get her back into the facility if u find its too much. If sister has hercall set up I would leave well enough alone. My daughter was good with my Mom but she didn't want to care for her 24/7. Being therevfor her is important. See her as much as u can. Hold her hand, hug and kiss her goodbye. I was there butcthe holding hands, kissing and huggingvwere not my thing. And, that is what they need. Just not how my family responded to each other.
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Does your mom have dementia? If she does, she may not be capable of making decisions about her own care or decisions about what's in her best interest. That's one thing to consider.

A POA doesn't necessarily give someone the right to make healthcare decisions.

Additionally, an elderly person will almost always choose to live at home as opposed to a nursing home regardless of their health status.

I wonder why your aunt wants to place your mom in a nursing home if, as you say, your mom does well living with you? Can you tell us a little more about the situation? How is your mom's health? Why does your aunt want to place her in a nursing home?
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I feel that POA is for financial issues. Who has the health care directive authority? And if it isn't you, is your Mom competent to sign a new directive?? what does the medical team say about your ability to take care of your Mom at home? Do you have all the information you need to offer to be her full time caregiver? What is her prognosis?
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