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Ex spouse as in divorced? If divorced, then you may not have any rights to VA benefits. If you mean widow that is different. You will need all your husbands military records to make filing for anything easier. Your county should have a VA agency. Call and make an appt to talk to a representative. There is what they call Aids and Attendance. But be aware, if you do qualify, it could take months to receive anything.

Not knowing what type of help you Need makes it hard to help you.
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What state are you in?
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Could you say a little more about what's happening, please? What sort of emergency, what sort of help?
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