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She has hired 3 caregivers to take care of my fathers needs who has dementia. She recently quit her job & says she will be taking care of him for 2 weeks suddenly telling the caregivers who depend on this job. She has hired & fired many of them because she is a narcissistic person who if she doesn’t get her way she will fire. Also she leaves my father @ night by himself from 9:30pm to 8:30 am. Also I suspect she is dipping into his money. How can I prove all of this? I do have some proof but need to know how to prove she is taking money & going on many extravagant trips with her daughter of 23 yrs. She tells me nothing. All of this is happening in Johnson city, Tennessee but I live in Richmond & visit often & have noticed many things disappearing. Please help. I don’t care about the money except for my fathers needs which concerns me that it will run out because of her using the credit cards & he will have to be put in a home. Regards desperate sister who needs help on going the direction I should with all these concerns. Thank you.

I hear you loud and clear that your sister is a narcissist and would be offended that you challenge her authority. I believe the best case here is to ask Adult Protective Services and her local police to investigate potential financial abuse of an at risk elder. Both, yes, because APS will act faster if they have a referral from the police.

If sis has a real POA, then she will show it to the agents and be done with it. If she can't produce it, the APS people will start asking more questions. What it may come down to is that you or your sister will be asked to chose who will be the guardian. I honestly believe that there is such dysfunction that only an outside professional guardian will be the impartial outsider who can oversee the care best. They will use a care home and charge a fee, but you will be assured that his money is not misused.
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Reply to surprise
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If she truly has POA, any of your father’s money that your sister spends needs to be on him. She has to show proof, if requested, that the money was spent on your father.

Can you consult with an an Elder Law Attorney? A lot of them offer free consultations to determine if you have a case. Have you tried to talk with your sister in a calm, non-accusing tone of voice? Can you speak with your father? Is he able to communicate? Unfortunately there isn’t much you can do without hard proof that your sister is doing something funny with Dad’s money.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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maybe you can contact the elder abuse office where you live, if you think your dads money is not being spent on him and if he is being left alone over night. (aging and adult services).

have you ever just asked your sister look at her paperwork?
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Reply to wally003
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