I am the daughter that has taken responsibility for the care of my parents. They both have dementia. Any suggestions?

You know that things are only going to get worse, so I would start now in coming up with a plan B, as plan A won't work for much longer. Like others have said, you can sell the house and use the funds for their in facility care. And when that money runs out, you can apply for Medicaid for them.
You are not responsible for your parents care, nor is your brother. They require 24/7 care now, and that's not fair to either of you. You must do what is in the best interest of your parents and their safety, and honestly that will mean placing them in the appropriate facility.
Your life will be much easier knowing that they're both taken care of, and you're not having to put up with moms abuse. I wish you well.

So where is Golden Boy Brother in all of this? Does he live locally? If not, how far away is he? What does he do to help?

I am so so sorry that you are dealing with this situation. My mother, too, was verbally abusive, thought my time wasn't worth anything. She made her disdain known. She'd probably always thought that way, but she lost her filters to dementia.

What is their financial situation? Can they afford a facility? And, if not, would they be eligible for Medicaid? I assume you are their POA/Healthcare POA?

Why are they “…not able to live in assisted living…”?
Start your process of disengaging with realizing that you are under NO OBLIGATION to assist them unless the laws in your community require you to do so.
Your mother has dementia, therefore she functions from a brain that is becoming more and more broken. What she says is immaterial to you. She can prefer your younger brother or George Clooney or Donald Trump to you- makes no difference to her welfare or yours.
You know that she can no longer remember or keep things straight. DON’T EXPECT HER TO DO SO. Don’t argue with her or try to convince her of anything about herself or her mental status.
Above all don’t attempt to “correct” her. The effort is useless and will only result in your own discomfort.
You took responsibility for her care, it hasn’t worked out for either of you. LET GO.

She and your father may need to become wards of the state. If YOU feel comfortable choosing that route, it will be safe and legal, and you will be out from under. The ball is in your court- if your parents are provided with safe, competent care, and you choose to absent yourself, do so.

Good caregiving requires a balance. What other people observe or think makes no difference to what your situation is. If she is too difficult for you to manage, leave. You are entitled to respect and consideration. Your parents are too, but you DO NOT have to live with them to provide it.

You say they 'are not able to live in Assisted Living', but if you sell their home, you can use the proceeds from that sale to fund their stay in Memory Care Assisted Living.

"Abusive" behavior is par for the course with dementia/Alzheimer's, as is 'not being able to keep things straight in their minds'. The personality your mother had before she developed dementia just worsens with dementia. Driving family members off and showing favoritism towards your brother is also common with elders who suffer from dementia.

You should think about what would make life easier for you and safer for your parents at the same time. Again, selling their home to finance their lives in a Memory Care ALF would be your best bet. "Walking away" because you can't bear their demented behavior wouldn't be in their best interest b/c they can't really help how they're acting; they're afflicted with a brain disorder. My 94 y/o mother just called me from Memory Care asking when she had to come over to 'take care of the baby?' Needless to say, there's no 'baby' to take care of. She thinks there is, however, so it's my job to calm her down and tell her she has no responsibilities to worry about today.

Good luck.

The way you describe their behaviors (as intentional) seems to indicate you'd benefit from some education on what dementia is and how it changes people, what their constantly digressing behaviors and actions look like and how to better interact with them in ways that are less stressful for you and merciful to them. Teepa Snow has some excellent videos on YouTube. If you are being offended daily and can't separate their broken brains and filters from their "original" selves, then perhaps you do need to back out. If you (or no one) is their PoA then they will eventually become wards of the county anyway. You may be able to speed up this process by contacting social services for their county and having this discussion.

Your mom sounds like she may be a candidate for MC. What level of dementia is your dad at? You don't give us much detail to go on, not even their ages. It is stressful even for people who are seasoned dementia "wranglers". One person is overwhelming and two is exponentially more so. I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart that whatever solution you arrive at is ok.

Sadly, your mom isn’t going to change, except to get worse. I hope you’ll protect yourself and your health as you do caregiving. There are caregivers here who help only from a safe distance for them. Only you can decide when it’s too much and then memory care or round the clock in home care become the options. Do you have POA for medical and healthcare decisions? Now is the time those are important