I had been my moms personal Caregiver for over 13 years. She recently passed and I have been the one attempting to make all the decisions while simultaneously grief-stricken. My main question is In visiting the Chatholic Cemetery where her mom, father, brother and nephew are buried I was informed that mom could be entombed with her mother but unfortunately it would have to be cremation, or I could have a traditional casket burial in a different section of the Cemetery. I have been delaying and distressed over the decision. She never verbally expressed what her final wishes were other than to be her family at the same cemetery. I can't seem to get past the buring of her body . I feel it would be nice to have her with her family ,but I just can't seem to get past the horrific thoughts of being burned to ashes. I would appreciate any advice or thoughts .thanks again.
I'm not Catholic but buried Mom in the family section of the cemetery. She was with her Mom, her Dad, and two brothers. It gave me peace that they were all together. I would have been okay burying her ashes only in order to keep her with the family.
Thinking of you during this challenging time.
I have a story for you. My family is Catholic. My mom, dad, and mom's single sister and brother purchased a 4 plot in 1990. As time passed, the last 3 indicated they were OK with cremation. All 4, being children of the great depression remained frugal all their lives. It was no surprise that the 2 sisters invited my brother and I to join them in their plot because they would have the space. My brother passed early in life and I cremated and buried him there. I miss them all as all of my immediate family from my birth. However the only 2 decendents who are my grandkids, will ask to visit the family plot when we travel to my old state. They briefly knew 3 of them in their young lives.
Our family seems to be all gravitating towards cremation. It's easier on everyone, and frankly, the embalming process is to me, more violent. I know that you can choose a closed casket but in some states embalming is required unless you work with a funeral home that specifically does all natural burials.
I just want to make it easy on my family after I'm gone. My parents pre-paid for their cremations to make it unambiguous, and I plan to do the same. There are too many decisions to be made under the stress and grief when a loved one dies. This is a gift I can give them.
I wish you the best and am so sorry for your loss and grief.
I am so sorry for your loss, but to me, I would prefer to see her in the family lot. This is also a more economical way to go. But you may decide differently according to your own wishes. Let yourself be clear in your mind that she never cared, or in 13 years at your side would have let you know.
I understand your quandary but would like to reason a little with you: yes, the thought of burning is very difficult to process, however it is not hell. In a casket, the body will slowly rot. The body returns to a different organic form, but at a much slower rate. My question is: Is it really much different than the end result of cremation?
My Aunts were Catholic. They chose cremation. We ceremoniously interred some of their ashes in the ocean at the FL beach we spent decades enjoying together, and also in one of the gardens of their house that they tended so faithfully, under a new beautiful bush. The rest of their ashes we covertly scattered over the graves of my Grandparents, their parents (because this cemetery did not allow it, but it was a very few ashes, just a symbolic amount).
My Catholic cousin had to bury 2 of her children at different times: one was 7 and the other was 23. They were cremated and interred together in the cemetery. It gives my cousin and her husband great emotional comfort to this day knowing they are together.
I'm thinking that proximity has more meaning since they are together spiritually in the afterlife and physically here on earth. But I don't think there is a "wrong" answer.
May you receive peace in your heart as you mourn her passing and come to a decision.
I keep thinking it would be so nice to have ma with her mom and brother, but then I think about the awful cremation process. I know it's just her body , but I feel so traumatized by the thought.