Everytime it's brought up my mother gets all panicked. She acts like she'll get in trouble if she changes it. My aunt LITERALLY thinks because she has POA what she says goes?... Is there anything I can do?
Yes, Aunt is POA, then let her deal with Mom. Your husband needing care was your excuse not to care for Mom. Now Aunt wants to call the shots, let her.
Get together a list of resources in your County. Our Office of Aging has a nice booklet. Leave a number for Social Services. If Mom is low income with no assets, she maybe able to get "in home" help. You have "depression and other problems" on your profile as her health problem. She is 64? Not that old. Are u sure by being there you aren't disabling her. Like doing things she can do for herself.
You do not need to put up with the abuse or a controlling Aunt. Your responsibility is to your husband. If when you get home, Mom is not being properly taken care of, call Adult Protection Services to investigate. If need be, let them take over Moms care. Meaning the State will become her guardian. Things will get done faster if they are doing it.
Unless your mom is not cognizant she can appoint anyone she wishes. And POA is not enacted until the person can no longer make decisions for themselves and it does not sound like your mother is in that position. Go home to your husband. Let your mother and her sister deal with this themselves. WALK AWAY..actually I would run from this entanglement.
"Im married been with husband who has stage 4 cancer for 19 years. An have had to recently move 4 hours away from him to live with and take care of UNGRATEFUL NARCISSISTIC LIFE LONG ABUSIVE MOTHER"
Your mom is only 64 years old.
I agree with BarbBrooklyn. Go home to your sick husband. He is the priority over your mother. Also, consider getting counseling for yourself since it appears you may have an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with your mother.
Get together a list of resources in your County. Our Office of Aging has a nice booklet. Leave a number for Social Services. If Mom is low income with no assets, she maybe able to get "in home" help. You have "depression and other problems" on your profile as her health problem. She is 64? Not that old. Are u sure by being there you aren't disabling her. Like doing things she can do for herself.
You do not need to put up with the abuse or a controlling Aunt. Your responsibility is to your husband. If when you get home, Mom is not being properly taken care of, call Adult Protection Services to investigate. If need be, let them take over Moms care. Meaning the State will become her guardian. Things will get done faster if they are doing it.
Go home to your husband. Let your mother and her sister deal with this themselves.
WALK AWAY..actually I would run from this entanglement.
"Im married been with husband who has stage 4 cancer for 19 years.
An have had to recently move 4 hours away from him to live with and take care of UNGRATEFUL NARCISSISTIC LIFE LONG ABUSIVE MOTHER"
Your mom is only 64 years old.
I agree with BarbBrooklyn. Go home to your sick husband. He is the priority over your mother. Also, consider getting counseling for yourself since it appears you may have an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with your mother.
worthwhile endeavor. to care for a narcissist who is only 66 is not a worthwhile endeavor.