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So tired of hearing about bowel movements, having to pee constantly, thinning hair, not being able hear well, on and on and on, not being able to walk well, etc. I care but my God, it is so hard to only hear about these things.


Nothing interesting. If I try to redirect to a different topic somehow the conversation ends up being about poo again! Geeeeez, there is only so much poo I want to hear about! Enough already.


I try to read or watch tv to relax and she will sit by me and do this over and over. If I walk off and go to my room she will complain later. You'd think she would take the hint if I walk off. I'm not going to tell her that I don't want to talk about her bowel situation because it won't do any good and she will just ignore me or insult me. I think she likes if I object to something. She considers it a goal that she has achieved so I don't react as much but inside I am screaming silently. Anyone else feel this way?

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Some of the elders really do begin to obsess about bowel movements. I always say there is a reason poop comes out BEHIND you. Do it and forget it. Even my dog kicks grass over it with her hind legs and runs from it....
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Harpcat Mar 29, 2019
That’s a good one Katie...I’ll have to remember that! Do it and forget it! The image of the dog...🤣🤣
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My mother thinks she is a brilliant and incisive political commentator.
The horror--
The horror--
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 26, 2019
Oh my gosh, haha. That is my brother! I can't stand it. People do get crazy with religion and politics, don't they? Ever wonder what God thinks of the idiots that are here on earth? I do. It's a good thing He has mercy! haha
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Years ago driving truck 230AM eating spaghetti in a 24 hour cafe:
Old geezer talking loud, like they do, about having 12 feet of his colon removed:
I finally put my half finished plate on his table and said,” I give up, you eat it!”
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 27, 2019
qmnpxl,

Geeeez, sounds like my husband’s grandma. She used to talk about her bowels when I took her out to eat. I learned never to ask her how she was feeling before eating!
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I keep giggling about this, Need, seeing your thread in the topics column:

"I'm so sick of hearing about elderly topics!" Anyone who didn't know what you meant might wonder if AgingCare was perhaps not your best choice of forum.

But yes of course I do know and remember exactly how you feel. Continence care, skin integrity, curling your lip at the daily headlines promising ALZHEIMERS BREAKTHROUGH, waiting rooms, ugly adaptive furniture, grab rails along your lovely hallways, the 'oh God what the heck is she up to now?' new dementia symptoms ... It gets just as wearing and just as claustrophobic as the worst of the baby years.
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Sendhelp Mar 28, 2019
Getting giggles here too CM.
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Same here. It’s either I can’t do a poo or I just did a poo. Men are worse All our married life he though it was super serious if he had not opened his bowels at least three times a day
i find as I get older that all people want to talk about. Their aches and pains. Stomach and bowels
i just cut them off and say “if this is going to be about your bowels I don’t want to know”
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 26, 2019
Panda,

Poo is a huge topic in my house! Geeeez, I never knew I would hear so much about poo, just crazy!
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I know some of you don't want to hear this, but one of the BEST reasons for LTC facilities is socialization. My parents, in their 90s, share all their complaints with the other residents in AL. They all complain to each other. They are all going through the same things. They also support each other.
At any age, we need companionship of those we can relate with. Being isolated with just your child makes that child get all of the complaints. I am not saying you still won't here them, but it lessens the burden. And when you do get them if parents are in LTC, you can deflect by saying, "have you talked to xxxxx about that? I'll bet they can be more helpful than me."
Not a perfect solution, but it helps lessen the burden of being the complaint catcher.
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Toadhall Mar 29, 2019
I have avocated for LTC because of the socialization and the activities that keep the person occupied. I know what you mean about some people thinking LTC is giving up.
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I have found fabulous support in this forum. Waters I could not navigate on my own. But quite honestly, I periodically have to take a break. I try to help where I can. Hush where I should ( need to work on); and listen and read. I lurked here for Quite awhile prior to, posting. This is an amazing resource and I am so thankful for it. But it gets to me. All of the topics. All of the heartbreak shared here. I am in great admiration of all of you. And very thankful I found this forum.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 28, 2019
Thanks Segoline. We enjoy hearing from you too!
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OMG!!! I thought I was a bad daughter! I am so glad that someone said this! My Mom tells me daily about her tendency to be constipated. Then she is so excited when it clears and she can poop...and I must hear the gory details. The size, color and ease of release & the number of times she had to go. Ugh! Don't let her have the runs. This is sure to be the highlight of the day! This thread gave me such a laugh this morning...
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Worriedspouse Mar 29, 2019
Wow! TMI. Ha!
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Sorry, but I kind of wish my mom was still around to talk about pee and how she poo-ed so much it “filled the toilet bowl” or how her room in a Cleveland.nursing home was really an apartment in Chicago. Sometimes I miss her so much I feel like I have cinder blocks on my chest...
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 26, 2019
I get that. I really do. Sorry for the loss of your mom. I know I will miss my mom too. Just gets to be a bit much at times.
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The things we indulge in our toddlers (because they are still learning to use 'filters') we grow weary of in our elders who are now forgetting to use their filters. I agree that it is very disagreeable to be around the elderly who are always negative, talking about their ills, etc. It's like a viscious circle: the more we get tired of hearing it and walk away, the more they self-focus. They are lonely, feeling discarded, unimportant, and their futures look bleak. Often they can't drive and mst depend on others for everything. Their world becomes narrow. Thus they focus on the only things they have left. Unfortunately it becomes about themselves. We who are still focused on the myriad things in life and in our daily existence do not have time or patience to deal with the narrow focus of the elderly. We grow impatient, disgusted, and frustrated by the conversation. We are the doers, the fixers, the problem-solvers. It is not easy! I have no answers for dealing with the complaining and the inappropriate topics that are delivered without stop other than to say that for me, I now have a mother who doesn't speak, who doesn't know what is happening around her, and who is not even in touch with her own being. She is in late stages of Alzheimer's and personally I would rather hear her complain about her ills than see her like she is now. However, that doesn't negate the original complaint here. It is just awful having to hear the same old things every day, over and over, until you just have to leave the room. I'm just glad that we have this forum to vent!
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 29, 2019
Jessica, I know. Just venting. Sorry about your mom’s situation. That’s tough to handle.
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