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My mom with advanced dementia, so much pain & weakness. I'm heartbroken.

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Only a hospice company can tell you for sure if she will qualify for hospice care, and they are the most experienced at predicting length of time left. The standard is "would the doc be surprised if she died within the next 6 months." Don't take the word of visiting nurses- they are used to putting someone in hospice that only lasts a week or two. Dementia has its own set of standards. You can talk to someone at a hospice company about how she would qualify before even filling out the paperwork to have them review her chart when you self refer. It sounds like she needs the pain relief and dementia-trained nurses that hospice sends to the home to check on the patients. Hospice has caught a lot of pain producing problems in mthr, and I highly recommend you investigate this as a way to relieve some of your mom's pain. They have solutions! If she does not qualify, you can ask them for some pain relief ideas to run by mom's doc.
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(((((((hugs))))) It is such a horrible disease. No one knows for sure. I hope you have some support to help you through this.
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It sure is confusing and heartbreaking, that's for sure. And you can't always know how much longer. There are averages but unless there are real signs of death being imminent you just have to live with the moment and see if anyone can help with better pain control for her! If you can focus on being there for her and being her advocate, she at least has a blessing in that, and you'll know you did what you could when it is over. Sorry you are going through this!
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