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I am caring for my mother, living at home with depression.

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Nightmares are unsettling but not nearly as bad as the miserable hours that we spend awake. Nightmares are fictional. Our hours awake are reality.

I do believe nightmares can occur due to stress in our real lives. So if it is possible to change our circumstances the nightmares may cease.

I am so sorry you are having unpleasant dreams. I hope that one day you will experience only beautiful dreams.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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I’m very sorry to hear that. I can’t sleep either. I have frequent nightmares. Thankfully they are not about my father yet, but I’m sure they are due to stress. I’ve seen a therapist in the past, she recommended journaling to try to relieve stress. I’m very thankful for friends who are willing to listen and for this forum. Deep breaths. One day at a time, right?
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Reply to Martz06
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Me too! Can’t sleep at all....finally when it’s early morning and a fitful night’s sleep....I DREAD getting up and doing the same thing everyday. Mom has dementia...Can’t really have a meaningful conversation with her anymore.....Her memory is shot except for things that happened 70 years ago. She constantly loses her cane and glasses, and we have to go searching. I cook everyday for us (my husband, mother and me)...no one says thank you. I keep a clean and orderly house for my own sanity but I’m starting to have nightmares...not sure why but Used to look forward to my comfortable bed...and some quiet peace....Now I can’t sleep hardly at all unless I take an Ambien. I HATE that. I’m sure for both of us it’s just stress. Somethings got to give. So grateful for this forum. Hugs!
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Reply to Middlekid60
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Chellyfla Sep 19, 2020
It may not be stress. After menopause, lots of people never get a decent night’s sleep again.

If you aren’t being thanked, demand it! You sound like you’ve been a doormat for a long time. That’s a choice you made. You are the only one who can stand up for yourself and demand better treatment. I am amazed at the number of women who allow themselves to become slaves to their husband’s caprices. If you are tired of your master/slave relationship, think about what leverage you have and use it. You are trapped and the only way to change it is to demand change and if you don’t get it, stop providing whatever work you are doing and care you are giving, Make a plan and be prepared to walk out the door before you make your move and think very carefully about what approach will work and how to time it. Express yourself calmly after you tell your husband in advance that you need to have a completely private talk. Make an appointment with him for three or four days later, not at that moment. Tell him you want to think carefully about what you want to say before you sat it.

i found that antidepressants are much more effective than sleeping pills regardless of the cause of the insomnia. I asked my doctor for Prozac and after taking it every day for three weeks, I was sleeping again. Your internist can prescribe them without a trip to a mental health professional.. It sounds like you could use them for your anxiety, depression and stress anyway.
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I don't have nightmares... But find it difficult to fall asleep...
I am feeling so depressed that I decided to see a therapist. It happened to me in the past to feel depressed and have very negative thoughts. I always got out of that alone with some help of my husband and friends. Now I feel I need a professional.
Think about it. I hope I will be given good tips to cope.
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Reply to Anche71
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This sounds like a terrible situation. Most cities / communities have some sort of agency on aging where you can get an assessment of her level of care needs and options for other arrangements. They helped my stepmom apply for Medicaid when it was clear my dad would soon need nursing home care.

Regardless -you should not sacrifice your mental and physical health to care for your mom. If she were not living with you - you could focus on being her daughter. You will still be involved - there is always alot to do even if she doesn't live with you - but some one else (paid, gets to go home after shift) does the heavy lifting. And you get to restore your self.
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Reply to Kimber166
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Perhaps it’s time she went to another living arrangement (NH). It sounds like you are headed for a crash and that won’t help either of you. The stress of caregiving is great and I don’t think we sometimes realize how much until we have some relief from it. Best wishes
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Reply to Franklin2011
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I’ve had nightmares from stress. I’m so sorry that you are struggling with this situation.

Maybe you should consider speaking to a therapist to help sort out your feelings. I went to a therapist and it does help.

All the best to you.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Can you give us more details, like: do you live with her? How old is she? What are her mental/physical issues? etc. Thanks
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Reply to Geaton777
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