I am searching for in-home care for my mother.

They are all manipulators, some more so than others. Be ready once you find someone, she will then not want anybody in her house. In home care because she does not want assisted living? She does not want things to change. Does she recognize she is losing abilities? That would be, will be, very difficult for all of us.

I'm in the same situation. I need some assistance as well and my mom is very manipulative. She switches from being incredibly personable and engaging with others to acting sad and clingy with me. I'm constantly racked with guilt because she uses her sad state whenever it seems I might leave the house. I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

Hopefully your mom will accept in home care which is challenge no 1-
Best to start gradually with 4 hrs a day assuming you hire through an agency to handle taxes and workers comp issues - this can be expensive $18-$20/ hour

Challenge no 2 is finding the compatible and reliable caregiver - depending upon where you live see if there is a senior center to get a referral

Although I tried my best to keep my mom at home with caregivers while I was at work she just wouldn't cooperate and ended up running away and falling - she is now in a memor care facility where I also hire private caregivers to help her

I am unsure of how far along your mom is, but do have a suggestion. I am pretty successful by including my mom in whatever i am doing. Let her help fold clothes or just doing something that seems helpful. Also music and stories from her school days help. Anything to distract. I have a caretaker during the day while i work and she leaves when i get off work....no help from my 3 other siblings