Some days she seems like normal mom, other days like today she was crying saying she basically wished she’d had her tubes tied. Before she had me. She is in a nursing facility as she has vascular dementia but still gets around when she makes herself with a walker.
Long story short she is depressed says she hates it there and wishes she’d die. Says she doesn’t understand why my dad is 6 ft below and other men are not. She even had no sympathy for a 34 yr old man who died needing an organ said she didn’t care and good for him.
She thinks she can live on her own as she says she needs no help then gets mad if an aide doesn’t come the minute she pages. I try to go in with a smile on my face, take her out and pray she doesn’t fall like she did @ Walmart. Says she doesn’t hate me but that she should be able to live with my sister who has a large house although she needs 24 hour care.
She’s become selfish and uncaring, spiteful and will tell lies when it suits her and now is trying to boss me and be more demanding than she was when she lived with me. I leave there feeling more down than when I went. She doesn’t accept her situation even after being there almost a year. Looks like they’ll be changing her meds or possibly another trip to the psych ward as she threatens to blow her brains out if she had a gun and said she was gonna get the social worker who sent her there.
She will talk about other people there having dementia but not herself when I take her out she constantly tells me how she dreads going back there instead of enjoying being out while she can still get around to get out. My sister never gets any of this stuff from my mom mom says she doesn’t say anything to her because she always has one of “them” grandkids (her great grand children) with her which she doesn’t...sorry to rant...just a trying day. Hate seeing my mom crying and unhappy I call her Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde...I’m beginning to think my being bi polar and my sister having ocd comes from her...thanks for listening.