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My parents moved to an independent living facility closer to me in August. They have not been able to visit my home because we do not have high toilets and there are two steps that they would have to go up to get to either one of them. My mom cannot get up the two steps without a railing and she has to have a high toilet. We do not currently have the money to fix this problem. Dad wants to visit, but can’t leave Mom that long. Any ideas?

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Sometimes acceptance is the watch word. Why not just continue to visit them? We cannot always get what we want.
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Well, if you can't afford the upgrades for them to visit, that's OK. You don't have to have them in your house to be a caring child. Go to them. Take them to the park. To a restaurant, etc. Maybe you could at least drive them by your house if they haven't already seen it?

If dad really really really wants to come to the house, hire a sitter for mom so he can make the visit.
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There are extensions that bolt to the toilet, or a commode can be placed above it to raise the height (or if there is a private room available the commode could be set up there). A simple grab bar or two can be screwed to the wall to make a handhold at the steps.
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I got a stand alone commode when my dad was here temporarily. inexpensive and doesn't require any permanent changes or installations.
A couple people could probably help her up the two steps if she rarely visits. Unless you're talking about two flights of steps?
Otherwise just have dad visit, or visit during outings away from your home that are accessible to both parents.
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Are your parents wanting to come to your home? Or is it you that would like them to come? I ask you that b/c I have been in the same position; I wanted my dad to come to my home for Christmas one year to see the decorations and to celebrate the holiday here with us. He was feeling nervous, however, for similar reasons as you're writing about, and we have 2 steps to get into the house from either the garage or the front door. Yes, 2 people could have helped him, but his pride wouldn't have enjoyed that. Plus, I think he felt awkward having to use the toilet no matter if I DID get a riser for it, you know? So that's why I ask you the question.

I wound up going to the ALF to celebrate Christmas with the folks that year and we had a very nice time. The chef made a lovely meal and my DH and I gave the folks gifts, etc. It all turned out well and there was no stress or anxiety on anyone's part.

If it's your folks who want to come visit you at your home, you've gotten a couple of good suggestions for how to remedy that situation.

Best of luck!
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GAinPA Feb 2020
I really like your response: are you sure your parents will enjoy the visit? So often, “My” wishes for a “good time for my mother” were in fact just wishful thinking on my part that resulted in stress and discontent for her and immediate regret on mine “what was I thinking?”
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I second the use of commodes that fit over the toilet.    If you can't afford one, and can't get one for your parents through a script from a DME supplier, consider contacting your local senior center for a loaner.    Sometimes you can pick up mobility devices in yard sales as well.    That's how we got a scooter for my father.

As to the steps, are they free standing or adjacent to a wall?   If the latter, are either of you skilled enough to add a railing?    You need to have some basic carpentry skills as the railing needs to be secure enough to hold the weight of someone leaning on it.  

An alternative is to try to find an organization to help, although I think it's more likely that that help would be offered to someone who lives in a home that needs adaptive devices.   You could check with a local Methodist church; in some areas they do that kind of charitable work.

Habitat for Humanity is another that does, but I haven't found them to be very reliable just in terms of what they really do.  I get different answers, and they've been inconsistent with the solicitation materials.

You could also contact your local city's building department and ask for recommendations for someone to do the railing work.   My city used to be very helpful, but in later years it's become useless to offer these kind of suggestions.

However, ask whether or not they get HUD funds for improvements.
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There are rather inexpensive portable ramps for sale thru med supply places on the internet, if you’re only talking about needing to span 2 steps.
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One quick solution for the bath is a bedside commode frame placed over an existing toilet to provide a higher seat and support arms for a senior. Alternatively, Lowe's has a really good ADA complaint toilet for $129 (often on sale for less) and swapping toilets is a quick and easy job for any plumber so many will do this task for their minimum trip fee. I use the ADA toilet with two grab bar/handrails that attach to the wall and fold down on each side of the toilet. Not having the commode frame legs around the toilet makes it easier to place and use a bath transfer chair.

How high is the distance between the two floor levels? Is there enough hallway to allow a ramp? You need 1 foot per inch of rise for an ADA compliant ramp used with a walker or wheelchair, although many seniors can easily walk up a ramp with only 1 foot per 2-3 inches of rise. Even with a ramp, you really need to install a handrail. Temporary ramps can be constructed of wood with very basic carpenter/handyman skills. There are also aluminium folding ramps available for under $500 new and much less used from yard sales or sites like ebay. One advantage of the folding ramp is the same ramp can serve two purposes. Once at the entrance and then setup inside the home after your parents enter.
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If you have a room that doesn't require them to go up any stairs you could put a commode chair in it for them to use, if they feel comfortable with that arrangement.
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there are lots of raised seat options that require no installation and are not expensive. The steps are the deal breaker. But 2 people could likely help her up the steps especially if using a gait belt. If the facility they live in has an option of physical therapy (sometimes they are contracted with an outside agency for services) see if you could arrange a session for assistance with mobility and transfer. They may be able to get this ordered by physician but even if your parents have to pay out of pocket it might be worth it. Your and your husband would set up a time to learn how to do this using stairs at the facility. That is quite a bit of coordination but it would allow her to come visit. Or get a sitter to watch her so your father could come on his own.

We can no longer bring my FIL to our house for holidays. He is no longer able to stand and is completely in a wheelchair so we see him at his facility.
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I recommend a riser that has long bolts used in place of the ones already there. The toilet seat sits on top. This way anyone can use it. I bought one on the internet that was hinged for easy cleaning. Think it cost $40. I worked for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. which provided used Durable equipment. Those risers that just sit on the toilet we found our elderly clients were not comfortable with. They aren't stable. Any riser u buy u need to know how the toilet is shaped, round or oval so u get the correct riser. We also suggested putting commodes over the toilet using a splash guard.

I would see Medicare will pay for any of these ideas. Commodes are covered. If not Medicare, some supplimentals pay for durable equipment. Maybe your Dad can get a riser or Commode. Even though he or Mom is not using them they are being used for them.

I agree, a railing should not cost alot. Maybe Dad would pay to have it done.
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Thanks for all of the ideas! Dad wants to visit, but won’t leave Mom. Mom would like to come, but the toilets and the steps are holding her back. I might just have to accept it, but feel like my Dad is disappointed because just before they moved closer he said that he was “looking forward to having a nice steak cooked on the grill” by my hubby at our house!
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I purchased on eBay a raised toilet charge and by husband built a ramp with 2x4 and plywood. Temporary and cheap
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Any place you could put a commode where they’d have privacy but still he accessible? They aren’t terribly expensive and Medicare might pay due to their mobility issues. Not always fun to clean up but if it means they can visit might be worth it. They can be adjusted to any height and have handles to help get up and down.
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As much as you probably do not want it, a quick-cheap fix is a portable potty chair. You can adjust the height and put it anywhere. Even if your only problem was toilet being too low, you can place the potty chair over the toilet to have higher seating.

If you have a sort of private area to place the potty chair, they won't have to climb any stairs. Dump it immediately and there won't be any smells.
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Spankiedoodle Feb 2020
Or, if you can't dump it immediately then use tablets to disinfect it until you can.
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You might consider purchasing toilet risers. They come in different heights. Does your mom have a walker to help with steps?
These are considerations I had to take with my mother. They have helped.
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Some of the things you need to buy for the age of a person. Medicare or Medicaid might be able to supply you with the toilet risers. I am sure the same thing goes for the steps.
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Our local thrift store chain always has a bunch of home care and adaptive things for really cheap. I've always been able to find an acceptable commode or walker or whatever there when we have needed one, for just a few bucks. You might check thrift stores, and also ask anybody such as your local hospice provider(s), senior center, home nursing association. If you do an internet search for "mobility products," "senior health products," etc. you might find something more affordable than you think that could make the stairs possible. Just a thought.
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Totally understandable.
Home depot has inexpensive wheelchair ramps for doors. High toilet seats can be paid for with medicare/medicaid within some medical supply stores.
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Contact your local area agency on aging and/or your local city hall. There may be some programs that could help at low or no cost, possibly volunteers who would help in making a ramp of some kind, or adding a railing. Can your parents help contribute to the cost of doing this? You can also get a raised toilet seat to temporarily put on one toilet in your home for when she visits. There also may be some respite programs for caregivers so that your mom would not be left alone if dad was able to visit.
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Just an FYI - the recommend ratio of a ramp is 12" of length for every 1" of height, that would mean an average 2 step (14" rise) ramp would be prohibitively long, even doubling the slope or supposing the steps are only half height it would mean a 7' length.
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If you have nextdoor.com, sign up, then post a request online. We are members in our neighborhood. People are not only helpful with recommendations but we give stuff away free that we no longer need. Who knows - someone in your neighborhood may have something they no longer need or there may be someone out there willing to help at low or no cost. Also. I believe Honda is running a 'help our neighbors' campaign. You might try them to sign up for their help.
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Take a bedside commode and place it over the toilet and remove the bucket underneath it. You can adjust the height of the commode so that the seat is higher than the actual toilet seat.
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See if CVS has toilet-risers. They are usually white heavy plastic and are inserted into the top of an open toilet. Look at the many variety of ramps with or without hand rails available on AMAZON.COM. Toilet risers are also sold on Amazon.com. Good luck.
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Do you have a local Lion’s Club loan closet? Ours has both those things you can borrow. No cost!

Presently we are borrowing a cane and transport wheel chair.

DL
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So you go visit them! Problem solved! Hugs 🤗
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You can buy or borrow temporary metal ramps and perhaps wheel them up on a transport chair. The ramps come in various sizes and can be removed and stored. A bedside commode with bucket removed can be temporarily placed over a regular toilet, as another poster mentioned before. I had to get very creative in devising ways to get my mom in and out of places.
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You a get a bedside commode ...
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Bedside commode.
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There are risers you can put on the toilet.
There are also bedside commodes and you can remove the "bucket" and place the framework over the toilet. This will give her the seat, the height she needs as well as support when she stands.
A small ramp could be built to go over the stairs, they can be removed when not needed and it could be moved from one set of stairs to another.
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