How can I get paid or get financial help to keep our home and keep caring for my dad?

I checked and we do not qualify for Medicaid and since that, there are no services they know of to help us. The WV Legislature never funded the program this year that pays siblings to care for their parents and they cut off the waiting list. We looked at a 1 bedroom apartment that has one small living room, very dark bathroom and small kitchen for $550 a month..can't afford that. I told my dad we may just have to go to the homeless shelter and let my wife move in with her mom. Her mom wants to keep her big nice home to herself and really don't want her daughter moving in. So we will end up being just another homeless statistic.

Ralph I know its good to give us some ommpf...I agree but it is tough out here. I know when I began my journey a year ago...I called all kinds of places and go no where really fast. I really wish that the new Heatlhcare program has a program dealing with SOLEY THIS SUBJECT - ELDER CARE.

Ok great..I'll try that tomorrow and see what happens and let you know..do they provide financial assistance? That is what we need. WV did have a program that pays people to be care givers, even children to be a caregiver of their parents but our legislature never funded it this year and the waiting list was closed.

Charles...

Thanks for being so open about your circumstances...

West Virgina has a Home and Community Based Waiver program. I'll bet it may be underfunded and there is a waiting list but you should get on it. See the services available and requirements here:
http://www.wvseniorservices.gov/HelpatHome/MedicaidAgedandDisabledWaiver/tabid/77/Default.aspx

Here is the contact info for the Director of the Program for West Virginia. Why not start at the top...

Julie McClanahan, Director
Medicaid Aged & Disabled Waiver Program
West Virginia Bureau of Senior Services
1900 Kanawha Blvd., East
Charleston, WV 25305-0160

Call her and ask her about the income situation. Mention the Income Trust!

There is another program in WV called "Medicaid Personal Care" which does have a very low income threshold ($674 per month). It appears to be targeted to those under age 65. This is not the program you want...maybe this is where the confusion lies with the person you spoke to.

There are actually several Medicaid programs targeted to the elderly in WV including a "Cash and Counseling" option called "Personal Options". Here's the link: http://www.wvseniorservices.gov/Portals/0/pdf/brochure-PersonalOptions.pdf

Call the agency below about this and other services such as help with your home. This is the WV Aging and Disabilit Resource Center website. Pick your county.
http://www.wvseniorservices.gov/GettingAnswers/InteractiveMap/tabid/61/Default.aspx

I'll be curious to learn what you discover...

I didn't ask them yet. I don't mind, His income is 1850 a month, counting social security and union pension. We live in a double wide mobile home in a trailer park and it is in my name. We are not behind on any mortgage yet. Mom's death was sudden and we don't have the money for next month's mortgage. I checked and no one will refinance or extend or anything a loan on a mobile home - no equity in a double wide.

Do you mind sharing what his income is? Did you ask them about the Irrevocable Qualified Income Trust I mentioned to divert the income so he can qualify? There is no reason why this should not work (unless there is something going on that I am not aware of but I can't imagine what that might be). It is Federal Law.

With respect to the home, is it titled in your name or your parent's? I'm assuming the financial issue with the house is the mortgage payment? If there is equity there it may be possible to transfer the property to your father and have him execute a reverse mortgage. This would not only eliminate the mortgage payment but would also provide access to the remaining equity. The downside is that if the residence is no longer occupied by dad for more than 12 months or if he passes away the house will have to be sold or refinanced. This means you will have to either move or be able to qualify for a mortgage at that time.

I of course have no idea how far behind you might be on the mortgage or where in the process of foreclosure you might be but again, I would encourage you to fight. Your county housing authority might be a good place to start for a referral to a non-profit organization that will help you buy time and hopefully rework your loan. No bank is going to want to evict an elderly gentlemen.

He was a veteran but got discharged right before the Korean War started so he did not serve anytime during war time. I talked to DHHR today and because of his income he does not qualify for any type of care. We may just have to try to get a one bedroom apartment for him, I sleep in the living room and my wife will just have to go stay with her mom. We are those kinds of people that fall between the cracks, make too much for any assistance but not enough to live on.

Charles...

I want to take a moment to apologize to you in the event that, as Pirate Gal pointed out above, I may have offended you and your family.

My intent was actually to offer you some "inspiration" and some hope that you can get throught this mess.

Therefore, I hope you will accept my heartfelt apology. As a caregiver myself, as well as one who works with caregivers everyday, the very LAST thing I wanted to do is be insensitive to another's plights.

I am particularly apologetic for I just noticed you stated that you recently lost your mom. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

One last item occured to me with respect to your situation. Was your father a veteran who served during wartime? There is a VA pension benefit he may be eligible for. Let me know.

Aaaargghh! Pirate Gal how are ya?

I re-read my posts and I apologize if I came off a bit strong. These are very tough times for many of us regardless as to whether we are taking care of elders or not. Guess I was just a little sensitive to this matter for I have recently run across a string of families in my practice who are singing the same tune but are really taking no action to help themselves.

Perhaps I am unusual in that I am an absolute pit bull when it comes to advocacy and taking responsibility. I often work 12 hour days to help families...lots of that time pro bono...and its striking to me how families will not stand for themselves as fiercely as I will stand for them!

Having to make money drives some people crazy because they are married to the notion that they must have an employer. I was simply trying to EMPHATICALLY make the point that there are always ways to make some extra scratch.

I appreciate, too, your comment about faith based organizations. I am neither and adovcate nor detractor of same but I do recognize the role they play in many communities...particularly rural ones (note our poster is from WV).

My point here, really, is that many communities have pooled resources to help families in crisis.

And if they haven't, someone has to start. Why not this couple?

Yeah Ralph it's not as easy as you say when you are all alone and frustrated and frightened. Many of these agencies don't even help. Seems you have to be practically penniless to have Medicaid. Don't be so rough on us, many of us are struggling.....dealing with Dementia patients is a strain on one's self trying to deal with an unstable mind...it's not like we are trained in elder psychology. Adult day cares charge a lot. Please don't mention churches..not everyone goes or belongs to a church. Seems there is really no help out there for us dealing with the aging population..it's all over the news but no one is stepping up to the plate coming up with more solutions and programs. Seems their is a blind eye being put to this growing situation. We the caregivers are taking a big toll with our lives, monies and health dealing with these older folks that are becoming terribly harder to take care of in these times of a 2 PERSONS have to work family life.

Come on man! Butch up! You are depressing me!

1. When it comes to long-term care benefits and Medicaid (if Dad is over 65) Dad's income should not be a problem. To qualify for Medicaid when Social Security or any other source of income is too high, one simply needs to create and "Irrevocable Qualified Income Trust" to divert the excess income over the $2,022 per month limit. Call the Medicaid office and ask about this. Some states provide the trust document, others do not but they may be able to refer you to someone who will do it for nominal price. Also try your local Area Agency on Aging (every county has one).

2. Contacting the Area Agency on Aging will also put you in touch with other resources. How about Adult Day Care for few hours? How about cobbling together help/companions from friends, neighbors, church?

3. Does it really take two of you to care for him simultaneously? Take turns with part-time jobs.

4. This is America! What are you good at? Do you cook well? Have a hobby that others admire? Does your wife knit or sew? What can you buy and sell? Are you handy around the house? Would others benefit from your abilities? In other words....become self-employed and self-empowered. You are only 53! Half your life is ahead of you...is this the way you want to live it?

5. Since you are both taking care of elders...maybe you can take care of others as well...for a fee, of course!

You are obviously a family of tremendous strength or you would not be able to do what you have been doing. Stay positive, think out of the box, and go for it!

Thank you..the reason I cannot work is that he cannot be left alone..He has mild dementia and today was my mom's funeral. He cannot be left alone so I and my wife has to take care of him plus she has to take care of her mom too. Dad's social security is too much for him to qualify for Medicaid so we are the kind that fall between the cracks..too much for assistance but not enough to live on. DHHR in WV has already told me at 53 I'm virtually unemployable..and no one would keep me hired when I would have to leave work and take care of him several times a week.

Honestly, you are asking the wrong question. It is impossible for you to care for all three of you on just your father's Social Security. You and your wife need to make money and take care of yourselves. Period. Whatever you have to do, you do.
Your dad's funds should be used for his care - not yours!
That being said, your father may qualify for Medicaid and if he is an eligible veteran he may be able to receive a non-service connected pension of up to $1,650 per month.
Contact your county Agency on Aging and the local Veteran Service Office.