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I have petitioned the courts for guardianship/conservator. Then due to the length it took to get Temp place I fell behind on the payments to the Nursing Home. Now on top of losing my dad in Jan and trying to get things taken care of for mom, the nursing home filed and took her social security check before I could stop that. I finally got all that straightened out. Then nursing home filed to gain guardian/conservator of mom. I have now paid all the past due, applied her for IC medicaid, but the nursing home is telling the court appoint guardian et litem, (which he has never contacted me),the professional healthcare provider (who also has not contacted me) and others that I am refusing to pay and have stolen and hidden money. Every penny is accounted for in black and white, but yet no one seems to believe me, they just want to believe the lies told by the administrator of the nursing home. This lady has lied in court proceedings, lied in the petition she swore to in the courts, lied again in another court hearing, but does not take any accountability for the abuse, neglect, stolen property, busted tooth, dragged feet, drastic weight loss, busted arm, filthy room and much more of my mom. She has gone as far as stating and having her staff state that mom, who has had dementia, back injury that requires surgery to fix, and parkinsons for over 10 years is now improving. They claim mom knows everyone, holds conversations, tells them when she wants to eat, get out of bed (which she has been bedridden before going into the nursing center and for 8 months before this person became the administrator). One staff member even told me in the care plan meeting yesterday, that her back has fused together and is now healed. I questioned about how not being a back specialty doctor, having no pass information, x-rays, or knowledge of the injury or any current x-rays and knowledge could he state that her back was now miraculously healed. He changed the subject and went into something else. This place has a horrible reputation on the care and well being of the treatment to patients. I attempted to move mom into the other facility here in my town, but after a conversation between "administrators" the facility told me that they were unable to take my mom due to her care level. Mom is no different than others in their care, so I can just imagine the lies told to them by the original nursing facility administrator. I need help to fight for mom, there is no money left, i have surrendered all her life insurance polices to pay for her care to the facility but yet they want her home which is the only thing left to sell, but if i put it on the market it counts as a cash asset which will hurt her chances of medicaid. If they could put forth half the effort of treating mom like she deserves than what they are putting forth gaining all her property, she would be treated like a Queen. Any help in this matter would greatly appreciated, and yes I have reported the facility to the State but due to them saying I was trying to get out of paying their bill, the State declared nothing wrong. I have pictures and documentation out my ears on the abuse and everything else, and I am fighting all this on my own. And no, there is no way after her decline in the facility that I can care for her at home any more. I had to place her and my step dad in there when my step dad had to have 24 hrs clinical care. Please any information would be awesome, I just want to get mom the proper care and if I loose guardian/conservator its been stated that we will not be able to go see her because the facility will not allow family any more in the facility. That is the control that they are wanting.

Cuzzles, you are a hero. May it be plain sailing for you and your mother from here.

And thank God for a judge who not only could but did read the documentation :)

Just a thought... what about submitting this case history to the ombudsman as a learning and teaching exercise? You deserved and ought to have had that support much earlier on; and in any case there must be consequences for the NH.
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cuzzles Aug 14, 2019
I had the Ombudsman involved, and she was not doing anything until i emailed the Governor and sent the Governor just a little of what i had placed into the Courts. Then within 30 minutes, the Ombudsman contacted me and we met for over 3 hours. She is now doing an investigation into the facility and helping me remove my mom from there. But, even though i am moving mom, it does not help the ones I am leaving behind and I am going to continue to fight for them. People do not realize you can do this without an attorney, yes, its been hard and time consuming but it can be done. Thank you for your response
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I thank each of you for your advise... I took on the courts and the nursing home in the courts on my own, all i had to lose was mom.. i documented everything, financial, neglect, abuse, reciepts from nursing home, cleared checks from bank, you name it. Close to 400 sheets of paper submitted and I won the case. I got full guardian and conservator of my mom, now i am working with her managed care coordinator to remove her from the nursing home to place her in one closer to me and a whole lot better. Again, thank you
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Laurellel Aug 12, 2019
Wow! Hooray for you and your Mom! She is blessed to have you on her side. You have truly fought a good fight! What a nightmare this has been for you. Thank you for letting us know the happy ending!
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Sadly, there are guardianship scammers out there, and they get away with murder. See here, for example:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/09/how-the-elderly-lose-their-rights

(It seems New Mexico is a real hotbed for this sort of scam.)

I am not saying this is the case here, but something to be aware of.

I cannot help you with finding a pro bono attourney, but you might try a social worker in your Mom's area, her local office in aging, local Alzheimer's office, her Congressman's office, etc. to seek advice.

If you suspect a real scam, contact the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging (they have a toll-free hotline) :

https://www.aging.senate.gov

THIs sounds like a real nightmare! Let us know how you are doing!
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OldSailor Aug 13, 2019
That article should be required reading for all caregivers.
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call your local office on aging.
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This is all very complicated. I would be very surprised if you were able to find an attorney willing to step into this free of charge, and am not certain that all the money in the world could change any of this through the law. If there is a court appointed person for guardianship there is no reason family would be locked out of visitation unless they were disruptive. Sorry, this all sounds very complicated and very painful for all involved. I hope it gets better.
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