I am in a fairly new relationship with a man that I feel could be the "one." His father passed away and he abruptly moved in with his mom to take care of her. Any advice?

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I've been very cautious so far and finally found my way to being willing to open myself up to a relationship at all. Now my boyfriend's father passed away and he abruptly moved in with his mom to take care of her. I am a business owner and work very long hours. Now for us to spend time together I leave work late, run by my house to just be sure it's there and then go to his (Mom's) place. I don't want to be selfish but it's getting kind of old.

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I say give him some time and slowly hint that you hope the living arrangement is temporary. Work out a timeline with him. Maybe you can help the mom to find a routine to be more independent? like community center activities to meet friends. If he is a man worth sticking to, he should be reasonable about this. This is like the first serious problem you and him would need to figure out. Many more to come if you decide to spend the rest of life with someone. Don’t be discouraged. relationship is never easy, but it’s worth it if you can figure out! best of luck!
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It may be too early to tell, but what are this man's long-term plans? Did he give up a lease or sell his house? Does he see this move as temporary, while Mom gets adjusted? Does she have health issues so that she needs a caregiver and not just a companion?

Does he work? Who takes care of his mother while he is out of the house (if she needs care)? Why can't he get away for a "date" at least some nights? If she needs care, is he working toward arranging that for her, or does he plan to do this the rest of her life?

As others have said, stepping in to help a parent after a traumatic loss is admirable. It is the long-term plans that would be most important to your relationship. Can you tell us more about the situation? How is his mother's health, for example?
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I don't want to sound defeatist, but not being in a relationship is a legitimate choice for some people. E.g. me, although I accept that may just be me.

But you don't say how long the relationship has been going, when your b/f's father passed away, or what ages any of the involved parties are; and not to pry but we also, of course, have no idea what left you feeling apparently "once bitten" about relationships beforehand.

So all in all...

The main question is how long ago the father passed away. If it was less than - what would we say, three months? Six months? A year? - and if the mother was fond of him, and especially if she has other health issues too, then it could be either that you'll need more stamina or that you should agree to part before there are too many hard feelings.
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Whattodonow, being a fairly new relationship means your boyfriend's father just recently passed. Of course he will run to his Mother's side. She lost the lost of her life, he lost his father, both are heartbroken, and depending on his Mom's health will need her grown child's help, she may have never lived alone before and this phase can be very scary.

If you feel this gentleman is "the one", please give the relationship some time, and give him some breathing room. He has a lot to figure out and challenges ahead. Do not put any demands on him.

Ask him what you can do to help. He would greatly appreciate that. And be thankful he is the type of man to wishes to help out his Mom. That would mean he would be a great caregiver if there is a time in the future when you need help.

And also think, what if the tables were turned, and you needed to take care of a parent.
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I think you answered your own question here... it"s getting old,.you are already not happy. Maybe give it some time to see what happens.. but your gut feeling is normally the right one. Good luck!
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