I am going to the hospital tomorrow to become familiarized with a Foley Catheter. I am squeamish. This is not for me. Advice?

See if you can arrange a home care nurse to do this. You should not be forced to do something you find scary, creepy, or unprepared to do.

Nothing is natural for nurses; we learn all about every technique and treatment. Things that may help you: squirt bottles full of warm soapy water and warm clear water, bidet attachment to the toilet, learning how the foley catheter works, asking how long your mom will need her catheter (not having one is better overall unless she can not void without one), asking if she can have a suprapubic catheter placed if this will be for long term use (goes into incision just above pubic bone), use plastic gloves for perineal care (which includes caring for her backside), and if worse comes to worse ask for placement into rehab.

Well 6 days have passed and OP has never responded...guess we won’t ever know. She either is or isn’t doing it by now.

I helped Dad with a catheter. It was awkward in the beginning but no big deal. You will have this mastered quickly. Your mom will be grateful for your help.

The worst part is thinking about it, so try to avoid that, if possible. Don’t complain to your Mom / this is both humiliating and can be extremely physically painful for her. She never envisioned or wanted this.

Once people get a certain age (or after women have kids) some type of urinary incontinence can just be a part of life.

If you feel she needs help getting clean, hire a CNA to help with showering.

Tell them ...talk to hospital Social Worker...you’re not interested in doing that & you want her placed in a facility.
Don’t take her back home. Hugs 🤗

It IS very hard to do. You have to make sure you keep everything sterile. I take care of my paraplegic daughter and was taught by nurses how to do it just twice. It was alot to remember. Everything comes in a packet and has to be opened just so. My daughter and I had to resort to putting in a catheter a few times when she couldn't empty her bladder. It was not easy in any way. I have seen nurses in the ER put a catheter in my mother not even cleaning up all the feces. After knowing how difficult it was to do keeping everything sterile I could not believe how badly they handled it. If you can get someone to come in and to do it for you that would be so much better. I did not have that option. Don't feel badly if your unable to do this. It is not an easy thing to do!

Maybe they released Mom and she is busy. Usually training means they are ready to discharge.

NYC, was it as bad as you thought? Or manageable?

Imho, I will pray that you will get used to this - in time.

You get used to what you have to do.. its that simple and easy. The more you do it, the easier it will be. I have friends who adopted a daughter with spina bifida from another county,,and she needs to be "straight cathed" every day, several times, so her urine does not build up. Could I do this,, maybe if I had to,, but she and her hubs and teenage daughter have learned to do, and do it without a qualm. They were taught how to do it at the orphanage in that county,, and even got it done in the plane on the way home, Then they taught their daughter. To empty the foley you will not have to be all up in stuff so much, at least that is good!
I work with trach patients, and we have to teach the families how to suction the trach, and change the entire thing out every month if home care doesn't do it. Scarey yes, but they learn and it becomes second nature after the first few times. I promise you can do this.. you are stronger than you think!

My husband has a catheter and all I do is drain the bag in the morning and before he goes to bed. Since he is on Hospice, the nurse changes it once a month. If your mom has Medicare, she could have Home Health Aides come in to bathe her atleast 3 times a week, but she will need Dr's. Orders requesting Home Health or you can pay privately and contact an Agency on you own. Don't be afraid, there is nothing to it.

My wife's Foley is stays put. it is changed at least every 30 days and 2 weeks if there are any problems.

All I have to do is empty the bag, keep her clean, and find ways to keep feces out. Since she is bed or wheel chair bound and doesn't know when she has a BM this can be difficult. I also change the bag and exterior tubing as necessary. This is an easy 2 minute task.

Home health comes when the catheter needs to be replaced usually timing it with their regular weekly visit. If I was expected to change the catheter, I would not be willing to do it.

I hope things went ok for you. I am constantly amazed at the things that the medical profession expect of family members without any conversation or information up front. Any time aftercare is required the family member expected to provide the care SHOULD (but rarely is) get a description of the care ahead of time and be allowed to have a chance to think it through before being asked to commit to accepting the medical care of another. I have NEVER heard of this being done. The family members do not have to do anything that they feel they cannot do. There are a lot of things I have undertaken in order to get my sons, husband or myself home, but it needs to be a choice, not an order given by the doctor or nurses.

We all have limits on what we are prepared to do.

There is no shame in stating, I am sorry, but I cannot do this. It does not make you a bad person.

You need to talk to the hospital discharge planners about other options. I know nothing at all about catheters, but ask about having home care come in to manage it.

I so often read how the hospitals send a very needy elder home, expecting others to do their jobs for them. In this instance, if it was needing to care for oneself and oneself was capable, fine. When it is for another, THEY think it is a piece of cake, but THEY do this all the time. Many of us have NEVER done anything like that!

When I was in the hospital (almost 4 weeks!), I was BEGGING them to let me go home. Sure, I was on TPN and industrial strength IV antibiotics, all through a PICC line (not allowed anything by mouth), but still, was it *really* necessary to keep me there THAT long? I was not that old, I was able to get around, care for myself once they gave me towels, etc to facilitate that (for days, there was nothing and NO ONE bathed me!) I had no need for pain medication (finally demanded they take it away - when told I can't have it back if I need pain meds, I told the nurse the only pain I have is from the stupid plastic case it is in, to prevent theft, when it hits me in the head trying to move the IV pole around!!!) There really was no reason other than $$$$$ to keep me there. I absolutely HATED IT.

They finally relented and ordered home nursing and supplies to be sent. I had a pump to do the antibiotics 4x/day, a feed bag the nurse would prep each day with the vitamin additives, and various supplies. Nurse would also do a blood draw, and clean/change the dressing on the PICC line periodically, so they could monitor and adjust the meds as needed. It was SO much better for me to be HOME! But again, I was capable of doing what was needed to care for myself and do the antibiotics. Other than prepping the feed bag, blood draw and dressing, I didn't need help! Yet people with dementia and/or major medical issues who need a LOT of support and help are sent home tout de suite!! No regard for how much work is needed, no concern about whether the family can do what needs to be done, no concerns about behavioral issues or whether family needs help because they have to work!!! Go figure.

Does she only need it for a short while? If so why can't she have a Home Health visiting nurse do this function?

Ask that home health nursing or aides be scheduled. A nurse can come weekly and change out the catheter when its time. Do not allow her to be discharged until this is set up. Tell hospital social worker you cannot accommodate her needs.

JUST SAY NO. NO. NO.
You can't. It's an unfair burden to caregivers to risk their (mental/emotional or physical) health with care they are not able to provide. You're human. You don't need to give them any excuse. It's not possible. They try to burden us with this stuff. Not okay. Sending hugs and hope.

She should qualify for a visiting nurse to come change it at home, depending on how ambulatory she is. The nurse came when my grandfather, who could use a walker, needed his cath changed. He had an aide several times a week for personal care. I had no problem monitoring color, volume and changing the bag.

NYCARETAKER, how did it go when you went in on Friday?

If she is in hospital, perhaps dr can send her to rehab to get her stronger before she goes home. Or could order in home nursing to handle this task.

Be honest w/hospital staff so they very clearly understand that you can or cannot do this. Once you get her home, you could be on your own for several or many days. Just because they tell you they will arrange help for you does NOT mean it will happen...or when it will happen. Trust me on that.

If you cannot do it - then tell her it would be dangerous to her health to send her home. Make that clear to them too. And go see the hospital social worker or case management person.

My husband had one for months. All I had to do was have him stand or sit by the toilet untie the leg band and open the cap on the tubing which empty’s into the toilet. Re cap the end re tie the leg band And that was it. Of course she needs to stay clean in that vicinity as usual. UTI could occur but my husband only got one. The bag is changed out about once a month by a nurse.

Tell her doctor you want hospice in place then with doctor orders you can schedule the initial meeting with hospice. Do it right away because it takes a few days to set it up. Hospice isn’t just for people dying. They can be temporary short term but the longer they’re in place, the easier things are. Plus Medicare covers everything & even supplies & I think also meds. Hospice has a nurse that visits along with aides after it’s all scheduled. The nurse can do the catheter & teach you if it comes out, how to clean it, etc. Good Shepherd is the one that comes to my house for my mom who qualifies at 87 yrs old with dementia. They are very professional, helpful & caring. Good luck!

Why does your mom need a foley catheter? There BETTER be a good reason. You do realize she is at high risk of urinary tract infection. IF there is a genuine medical necessity (if urination is dribbling, which is incontinence, she would be better off with diapers), there should be no reason why home health nursing can help with you.

When she has a bowel movement some stool can get on the catheter and travel into her bladder. Catheters can be VERY dangerous.

Unless there is a good medical reason for the catheter--your doctor should order to take it out.

IM assuming they want you to EMPTY the bag of urine 3x per day. I dont think they can expect you to take out the catheter and insert a new one - ie usually every 3-4 weeks i think - you will need a nurse to come to house to do that part. If she needs a catheter - she needs it but find out for sure since UTIs are all too common with catheters esp if they are not replaced. My father had a catheter when he was recovering from hip surgery and he developed a SEVERE UTI - he was doubled over in pain - took the rehab 20 hrs to take it out and relieve him of his pain - sadly it turned into a MRSA infection that infected his blood stream and heart and he passed away. I dont mean to scare you - since many many people have catheters but you have to be on constant lookout for infections, etc......if there is any chance she can urinated on her own - then choose that option otherwise be vigilant with catheter.r

NYC -- Oh my, I get you! No advice just empathy. I cannot handle anything that comes out of a body except blood, I guess because it isn't waste matter. I have to keep my eyes off the urine bag in a hospital room. I can't handle someone coughing up junk and then telling me to look at it. Nope. Not sure how I managed to change diapers for four kids and ten grandkids, must have been God's grace because I'm definitely not gifted with pee, poo, vomit, or mucous. I'd be telling the hospital, "Not me, make other arrangements."

Its now 3 days later, so how did u do?

There is nothing to it. All you'll be doing is emptying the bag of pee once in the morning and once in the evening.
It's easy. I do this for my 96 yr old dad.
Your mom's pee won't smell any more than your own and your nose or hands aren't going to be anywhere by her privates, you're only touching the tube and the bag which are at least a few feet away.

If she has to have it for a long time, they'll be sending a Nurse out once a month to change it or you'll take her in to have it done.

You've got this, you're only emptying pee from the bag by using the tube to drain the pee.

The cathiter /(urine/pee) bag must be emptied or tge urine/pee will go back inside your mom and poison her.

Mare sure the Cathier bag hangs lower than your mom's butt so the pee will drain.

JoAnn29 - If a person is being sent home with an indwelling catheter, it's either because they have urinary retention (cannot pee voluntarily) or they leak urine constantly. Either way, they would need the catheter.

I'm assuming that what you mean is that she is being sent home with a Foley catheter "in place" and they want you to learn how to empty it. The bag fills up and needs to be emptied a few times a day. So, unless you want to pay for a home health aide to come into her home 3 times a day, you need to learn to empty it.

Emptying a Foley is FAR easier than dealing with having to wash a person's genitals due to incontinence. You just wear disposable gloves, empty the urine into some type of re-usable large plastic container, flush the urine down the toilet and rinse out the container. This process is repeated, on average, 3 times in 24 hours.

In terms of being "squeamish" - let's just say that every woman on the planet has wiped her own a** after bowel movements and touched her vulva for menstruation hygiene. So, assuming that you have bowel movements and have menstruated many times during your life, dealing with a Foley is no big deal by comparison.