First of all, neurologists and primary care doctor do not feel she needs nursing home or hospice yet. Primary has suggested palliative care for home. I respect them as her physicians but they are not with mom around the clock as I am. They don’t see how much care I provide for her. I have told them how much I do for her. To avoid falls they tell mom to rely on my support. I have been running on autopilot for a very long time. Of course, this has taken a toll on me.
I am exhausted doing it all since 2005. Mom has Parkinson’s and has fallen several times. She has bad balance and is weak. We just completed home health for physical and occupational therapy. She did fairly well but doesn’t keep up with her exercises as they suggest to gain strength and balance.
I know Parkinson’s is a progressive disease and will not improve. She is very good at taking her meds. Parkinson’s meds, brand name seizure meds, (Dilantin) which the doctor said she could go off of due to not having a seizure since 1996 but she insists that she remains on it because she’s terrified of having a seizure. So the neurologist has continued to prescribe it for her. (Very expensive medication because it’s brand name and he doesn’t like the generic), low dose cholesterol meds, baby aspirin, vitamins, aspercreme. That’s it. Not a huge list of meds.
Thanks to many wonderful posters on this site, I decided I want to explore my options of what is best for my mom and my husband and myself for the future.
The first place is an AL place very near my home. It is for profit. It’s called Brookdale. They told me mom could possibly qualify with benefits from a veteran program since my dad was a vet. Price quoted from this place was $3150.00 base price, extra price for additional needs. Not sure what is considered additional needs. I do everything for mom!
The other place is Heratige Manor, also very near my home. I think it may be non-profit, have to double check that. Think it is more like a NH. Not sure if veteran benefits apply, have to check. She needs additional funds for her to live at a facility so I am hoping we will receive funds.
I don’t think either place is super large like some places. I think it will be a bit more personal rather than a really big place. What questions are most important to asks? What about adjusting to new home? How to break the news to her if we take this route? How to break news to siblings who haven’t helped? Whew, my head is spinning thinking about so much. Think each place has skilled nursing unit. I have a lot to learn!
Veteran money is supposed to be available until death. Place called Patriot Angels. Anyone used them?
They only accept Medicare for skilled nursing part. The rehab part. She doesn’t have Medicaid. Do you give up Medicare when you have get Medicaid? Medicare may pay for respite care. Is that a good way to try a place out?
Please give me feedback. Thanks a million. This site has been a blessing to me due to all of the wonderful advice from smart, caring and experienced people. I appreciate it so very much.