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I can give you an example. My mother had a stroke (she’s recovering now, speaking clearly, but still has mobility problems). We’re lucky a hospital is five minutes away from her AL. They put O2 on her within ten to fifteen minutes. Her hand was curled for about twenty four hours and then straightened out. She’s using her hands normally.

My daughter spent the night with mom, lay down in the bed with her and wrapped her arms around her. My mother cuddled up to her and relaxed. My daughter tended to her until mom began to be able to speak. That was showing compassion, love, human contact and my daughter sang some hymns when mom would wake during the night.
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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A lot of detached empathy that does not take everything they do or say personally.

Some needs are best reported to their doctor. So, keep notes about your observations. Communicate these things to the doctor before he or she sees the loved one either in person or by mail which is what I did with my mother.

Take care of your own emotional, spiritual, psychological and physical needs. Otherwise, you will not be able to care very well or very long. Plus, you can't give what you don't have.

Very often, like in my dad's case, it takes a team of caregivers to deal with his needs in a 24 hour day. So don't fool yourself into thinking that you alone can do all that needs to be done.
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Reply to cmagnum
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Basically, you take it one day at a time. There will be good days and bad days. You know your grandma’s likes and dislikes. You know her personality. You don’t try to be all things all the time. You can’t. You stay in touch with her doctors and ask for help when you need it. If she has dementia, you take a trip around this website and learn what to expect.

None of us caregivers are superhuman. We’re in the trenches daily doing the best we can for our loved ones. Go into this with realistic expectations about what you can and cannot do. Trust in yourself!
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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