Everyone in my family is in denial that my mom has dementia. She was tested and she tried to hide her results. The truth about her dementia came out from the doctor when she had a hospital stay.
Nobody believes me, but the first thing my younger sister did was put her name on her bank account a year ago. She’s still able to make some decisions herself, but her sense of money isn’t there. For example if she purchases something for $10 shed gives someone $20 she will walk out without the change. A few months ago I discovered a $600 phone bill she’s paying for. Lap tops, tablets the latest phones you name it it’s there. She’s a single woman mind you and her kids are both grown adults with our own families.
When I asked her (mom) about it she got defensive and snatched the bill away from me and that’s when the accusations started. My sister tells people and other family members that I take $1500 a month from mom. I had no idea that she was this evil. Now my Aunt is involved. One of my cousins recently passed away and she went to Houston for the funeral. My sister took the dog and my aunt took my mom. She’s been in Houston the whole week and they’re refusing to bring her back. It’s like kidnapping. We have a pretty big plot of land with the main house and a few houses. I’m a disabled veteran and I stay in one of the houses. I have a pretty good bit of funds on my own from my injuries while in military service. I don’t need anything from her. My mom is being taken advantage of by family and friends. She was a teacher and only lives on retirement but she also makes enough retirement to where two people can live comfortably. My siblings bills get paid secretly by mom and her father. All I want is for my mom to live and be comfortable in her own home and have enough money if god for bid there is an emergency. I can handle it. There’s no POA that I’m aware of unless she did it secretly. Everything is word of mouth by mom. With my own illness I’ve been so depressed and distraught. I do everything for this woman where everybody else lives miles away. I just don’t know what to do or where to turn to.
I have no advice, sorry, but I'm not pulling out anything or judging
There would be cancelled checks ot the bank will have a record of her withdrawing that amount every month.
You can petition the court for conservatorship/guardianship over her if there is proof from her doctor that she in fact has dementia.
What is your disability? I ask this because if you try to go for conservatorship/guardianship the court is going to ask you. If your disability is mental related you will be denied conservatorship/guardianship over your mother.
Now your younger sister didn't just go and put her name on your mother's bank account. Your mother also had to be present and they would have had to do this together.
See, here's where your story starts to get fishy. In the comments you say that your mother sends you to the bank with checks made out to you, but you have to give the money to her.
Do you possess an ounce of commone sense? You don't accept checks in your name if the money isn't for you because your sister can have you arrested for that.
You say that everyone is against you, you're the "black sheep", and you're being "framed" by your family. This is not the talk of a rational adult.
The more likely reason why your sister and aunt have taken control of your mother and her finances is because it was necessary.
Take steps, my friend. Help yourself.
It seems no one is opening a case against you, but that YOU are accusing others of fraud against your parent.
If you have PROOF that there is fraud here, or strong suspicions, then you need to contact APS.
Do know that no one "puts themselves on an account". Only the holder of an account can add someone.
If your mother has a diagnosis of incapacity and her daughter is taking advantage of that to steal her money this is a legal matter.
If APS refuses to open a case you should consult an attorney.
This is not something you can address in a do-it-yourself manner.
Do understand that sibling wars over a parent are common and that you will need to have your ducks well lined up in a row when you go to the authorities.
You can’t control your mother or other members of the family. Bad mouthing, even if it’s not true, is a case of ‘sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you’. Not totally true, and you do need to protect yourself, even if you can’t stop the bad mouthing. If you are caring for mother, you need to be paid or to have some security about your living arrangements. If you are safe, you can laugh in their faces.
You say “everything is word of mouth by mom”. Not good enough! You could start by giving us more information about your risks. And/or you could go to a lawyer to find out what documents (eg the land title) are filed publicly. At present you have some leverage because of the care you provide. Use it!
Why did your sister say that you are taking money?
No one is PoA at this point in time?