My parent has been a resident of a nursing home for several years.
I have banned from seeing my parent.
I have several health problems and did not feel I should be her POA. My other 2 siblings are the power of attorney.
I was not told I was banned until after the nursing home staff assaulted me when I was bringing lunch to my mother. I made the mistake of telling a sibling I was going to bring lunch. She told the nursing home staff that I was going there to make trouble.
I don’t know why she did it but as a result I ended up in the Emergency Room. I just pulled in I got out of my car they had the door blocked and said
I have to use the other entrance. I walked to the other entrance and was
grabbed by a 300 pound employee and then I was grabbed by another employee who twisted my arms behind my back. I screamed in pain and told him I was disabled he finally let me go. The Administrator knew I was disabled and just watched from a far as I was assaulted. The police did not help.
The nursing home lied to the police. I was never told I was banned until after I got assaulted. My mother has some dementia and afraid she will be sent to another nursing home. The police did nothing and the nursing home lied and said my parent did not want to see me which was a lie. My sister knew I
was disabled she just lied to them.
Why I don’t know why. My brother is no help he is just a jerk. The nursing home administrator is a bully he knew I was disabled but was ok with his staff assaulting me. He is a bully he will have his staff try to intimidate you. They come in packs to intimidate you. He completely lied to my parent and said I assaulted his staff. I am not strong I am weak due to my many health problems.
It would kill my mother if she had to be sent elsewhere. The staff has threatened to send here elsewhere.
It is a nice place but the Senior Staff are bullies and if you complain about
anything they will find a way to hurt you and then ban you. I have read that nursing homes can lose their Medicare and Medicaid funding if they try to ban visitors. That residents have the right to see whoever they want. They are liars and they blackmail you. My siblings are no help and my sister has set me up for violence in the past. I haven’t seen my parent for almost a year. The coronavirus is completely separate.
This happened before the virus started. There staff can be very mean. I have been on the phone with my parent and I can hear her asking to go to the bathroom and the staff refuse. It is a conspiracy and being sick does not help. These people are horrible. I would think this could be considered Elder Abuse to have staff lie to my parent and they lied to the police. It can be Elder Abuse if siblings are also trying to limit or ban you from seeing your parent. They just want her there they really don’t care what happens to her. It is a horrible situation and you are powerless because they will threaten to have my parent transferred ans my parent is afraid it will happen. Have no clue. I have thought about going to the Department of health or going to the nursing board because the DON does not do anything even if the staff are neglecting my parent. I have no clue what to do. I don’t want to try to go there and get assaulted again.
I do not know what to do.

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You were assaulted by a staff member then called the police to report it and they did nothing. I'm sure you know that this is situation is difficult to believe. Nursing home staff and administrators do lie on a regular basis so I'm going to take you at your word here. My advice to you would be to talk to two people. A social worker associated with your state's Ombudsman's office, and an attorney.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BurntCaregiver
Missmyparent Sep 26, 2020
I already talked to the Ombudsman they didn’t do anything. They were no help. I can’t afford a lawyer I am disabled plus I don’t want my parent involved it would not be good and my parent is afraid they would be transferred somewhere else. I can’t do that. My parent could not go thru it. They have threatened they are liars and bullies.
It is quite difficult for me to come to any conclusion when you are telling us that A) your entire family is cruel and banning you from seeing your mother B) you were attacked by a nursing home administration and staff and manhandled in an assault upon your person and C) the police are uninterested.
Your writing of the history and incident to us is somewhat rambling and stream of consciousness. This may be a result of your having written us when very upset or disturbed. It does seem that your thought processes are having a hard time with all of this.
I would like to suggest that you seek help of a good psychologist or a Social Worker trained in working with life transitions work in order to figure out a path forward for yourself, and to explore what support systems there might be that can help you bring some peace for yourself and family.
In all of this I am afraid it is very unlikely that any here could possibly help you in any way other than to give you our sympathy. This I will do. I am very sorry for all the pain you are going through with family and health issues, and I wish you the best.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer

Call the Ombudsman & file a complaint with the Nursing Home.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to lealonnie1
Missmyparent Sep 26, 2020
The Administrator is the nursing home. He is the one who had his staff assault me. What a man to stand back and watch his employees attack a disabled person. I am more concerned with my parent. He watched the whole thing. He knew I was disabled.
See 1 more reply
There is a lot of information in your post, but it is out of chronological order.

it appears the assault you refer to took place many months ago, prior to closures due to Covid.

You do not say if your Mum has dementia. If she does not, she can change her POA. She can also say she wants you to visit her when that is an option for nursing homes in your area.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Tothill
Missmyparent Sep 26, 2020
There are periods of dementia and periods where she is alert and oriented. My parent is old and is too afraid to be transferred. My brother is the POA I doubt she will want to change. She has told them she wants to see me but they just refuse. They do not care what she wants. They are breaking federal law. If a nursing home gets funding from Medicare and Medicaid they are allowed to ban her her visitors.
They could lose their funding.
I just don’t think she could handle it emotionally. I can’t do that to her.
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