For 1 year I spent 2 weeks a month in her state and the other 2 weeks at home. I gave up a full time job. Then she moved in with me for 2 years. No one else helps. I did day care a couple of months then she hollered about going with the crazy people. I mentioned having someone come to the house and she doesn't like that. I used AL respite a couple months back and she hated it. The other siblings came to visit and it was not a vacation for me.
She is very rude to my husband and kicked me when I explained she needed to have an infected tooth removed. She talks about sex and poop when taken out to eat. She was mad at the AL and they had a lot of trouble getting her showered. She complains of having to look at another woman with a crooked neck at the facility. Found an AL that will do occasional overnight care and daycare where they even give showers. Afraid she might put up a fight about going there also. Thought I could do that 2 days a week and she could still live with me but give me a break and allow me to go out with husband but she doesn't consider anyone else with the dementia. Not sure if it's worth trying or if I would just be postponing the inevitable.
When I need to take her to a doctor sometimes she prays for God to kill me. I spent 6 months cleaning her house to sell with no help from others. They only wanted her money. They don't want her in a facility now because it costs money. They don't appreciate what I have done for free. I have a CNA license, activities license and foodservice license but I can't take much more abuse.