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On Sunday, my brother came up to visit (he lives 4 hours away). My mom was having trouble getting into her wheelchair, he gave her a Tylenol and it seemed a lot easier. Lately, my mom has been frustrated with incontinence, and would scream and have a temper tantrum, that's not going to change. After she calmed down she told me she wants a week at my sisters house to give me a rest. My sisters house is very narrow with lots of bumps and no bed for her. My sister sometimes stays overnight so I can get some uninterrupted sleep.
My niece came over today with her daughter (I made her mask up, I'm not that big an idiot). Before she came, my mom was having the same problem getting from her chair to her commode. I gave her a Tylenol and a half hour later, she did it. My niece and my mom had some serious issues in the past. My niece is a CNA and works in a nursing home. She was very helpful today. My mom asked what they served at the home she works at. My niece told her the truth, breakfast usually sucks, but the lunch and dinner menu caught my mom's attention. My niece showed my mom a picture of a turntable thing she saw one of the residents use. My mom is having a problem with one foot not moving, causing the problem. I have a PT coming sometime this week, and I will certainly ask about it.
My mom asked me to give her great granddaughter a little cash as a gift. As they were leaving my mom asked them to come back another day. I nearly fell on the floor in shock. A visiting nurse is coming back to change her dressing, and I will ask how to better manage her pain. My mom can't be specific as to what hurts, maybe her knees, back, don't know. I'm not sure Tylenol is a long term solution, don't want to mess up her liver.
The thoughtful, considerate mom is who I knew her in the past, nothing like the monster she became when she moved in with me. Maybe it was the pain, maybe it was her awareness she needed to make amends, why not both? Caregiving does have some special moments. When they do come along, please share them with this community. A lot of us feel like we're at the end of hope, I did too. I had only 2 options, try to find solutions and stay positive. The other was to wallow in despair. I choose the former. I really feel hurt inside for those who's situation is not solvable, or who don't have the support from family like I am blessed with. Peace all.

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Dr. Kernisan:
"What’s the safest OTC painkiller for an older parent?

For most older adults, the safest oral OTC painkiller for daily or frequent use is acetaminophen (brand name Tylenol), provided you are careful to not exceed a total dose of 3,000mg per day.
Acetaminophen is usually called paracetamol outside the U.S."
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I’d hope you take up the offer of a week at your sister’s home for some respite for yourself. It may not be prefect but they can and will work it out. Caregiving is often a long haul, you’ll appreciate a week off, hopefully more than once. As for Tylenol, my dad took 2 of the arthritis Tylenol daily, which is 650mg instead of the usual 500mg. He took them every day without issue and with his doctor’s recommendation and blessing. It definitely helped the aches and pain that come with arthritis and limited mobility.
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A Geriatric physician, Dr. Leslie Kernistan advises a lower dosage for elders on Tylenol, with the same results.

You can google it, try a lower dose so the liver is better off.
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The last thing I'd be worrying about is 'messing up' your mom's liver by giving her Tylenol to help her manage her pain! Call her PCP and get some advice before you do anything you feel uncomfortable doing, but let me tell you something: my mother is 94.5 years old and takes 4 Tramadol a day in addition to Tylenol as needed. When advanced old age hits, whatever has to happen happens to keep them comfortable. As long as she's not overdoing on Vicodin, I think you'll be ok.
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Tothill Aug 2021
I agree, OP’s Mum is 88. Quality of life is far more important that quantity at this point.

Talk to her doctor about pain management. Be mindful that some pain relievers can cause constipation, others the runs in higher doses.
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I have arthritis in my lower back. I read that Tylenol is good for arthritis and use it when the pain needs some calming down.

How could you have known if Mom didn't tell you she was having pain. Maybe give her a couple of Tylenol when she gets up. You need to be careful with it though, it is known to cause liver problems. My Mom got her Tylenol when needed.
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Ummm...okay, why exactly are you an idiot for not knowing something you weren't trained in? You're doing great!!!!!! This old-age caring thing is super tough! You've got it!
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