
My partner and I have been together for about 5 years. We did not start conventionally - as friends who bonded over our aging/disabled mothers who would eventually pass away a year into our relationship, 6 months apart, almost to the day. We have always had a very fun loving and supportive relationship but that could never heal his deepest pains of losing his brother when he was 10, losing his mom, going through a nasty divorce and having everything ripped from him. I’m currently pregnant- it’s not our first time getting pregnant however i am so stressed because over the holidays he had a psychosis in which completely flipped our world upside down. He begin displaying obvious signs of having a manic episode. He’s always been very passionate whether happy or sad but this behavior was completely irrational. The things he said and did were vile and I just knew I had to separate the behavior from the person. I know I have a major decision to make. I already made a hard one by getting him some help, to be assessed and properly cared for. I know that I will have to chose once again between putting myself first or dedicating my life as a caregiver. Our previous pregnancy did not stick & Im afraid this one won’t either just based upon how my body has been in survival mode for 2 weeks straight. Apart of me is ashamed to say that I am ok if that isn’t in Gods plans for me right now. I am young and can try again but these moments trying to navigate this new normal has me terrified.
also if anyone knows about SSI OR SSDI for mental health diagnosis please let me know. Thank you to everyone in advance.
soliciting advice, positive vibes and anything helpful.
I don't think you should be ashamed about how you feel at all. But your feelings are a true indicator, imo, of how you should proceed with this relationship. The future of the fetus is in God's hands, one way or another, but it's YOUR future I feel most concern about.
I get the feeling your partner is currently in care and being assessed. If so, speak to a social worker about the possibility of getting him on disabilty for mental illness. I have no idea how that works, but a SW probably will. If you do what you can to help your partner, as you've already done by getting him help and properly cared for, then you can move on in good conscience. Living your young life as a caregiver for a man with mental illness and possible bipolar disorder is committing yourself to a life of disruption and "vile" behavior. You will always wonder if these are his TRUE feelings coming out in manic moments! Trust me on that. You want a calm and composed future for yourself and your children. I lived with a mentally ill husband for 22 years and I can tell you it was NO PICNIC. I married at 23 and divorced at 45 when I could no longer take another moment of his unhinged behavior. We parted as friends and remain friends to this day, 23 yrs later.
My only regret is it took me 22 years to make a decision I should've made long before.
Best of luck to you.
Diagnosed by whom?
History of mental disease?
Because this isn't aging mental problems, or dementia, this is, if you are right, "psychosis".
You are not qualified to diagnose mental illness.
You aren't qualified to TREAT mental illness.
So my advice? Run to the nearest divorce attorney and safeguard your portion of marital assets in a separate account before he understands you are leaving.
Once you are in a safe abode order the book "Never Simple" by Liz Scheier, who attempted to act for and on behalf of her mentally ill mother for many decades, along with the social services of city/state of NY. ALL TO NO AVAIL.
RUN.
If your talking about Social Security Disability, he will not be able to get it without documentation from a doctor or doctors. Sometimes you are requested to see their doctors. The process can take a year or more. You will need a Social Security lawyer who will be paid by SS out of the retro money received if you qualify for SSD.
I so hope you have POA. If not, hope he has lucid moments. Without it, you may have no say in health decisions.
A social worker for his county may help with info regarding SSDI (he is too young to collect SSI) BUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR HIM? He's an adult man. Don't enable or coddle him.
FYI please encourage him to get a full physical soon since behavioral changes can be indications of other medical problems, like a brain tumor. Are you sure he doesn't have a substance abuse problem?
If you are not married, and if you are not his legal representative (Power of Attorney) you will be in for a very challenging situation if you stay with him since you will have NO POWER to make him get help if he doesn't cooperate or see his need. When he is unhinged or detached from reality you must call 911 immediately. If they do a 5150 (or Baker Act) on him, he may then be forced to get the medical help he needs.
You and your baby are your first priority. He is a grown man and will manage his own health issues. Please call 911 if he displays anything threatening behavior towards you, including just verbal threats.
May you receive clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart as you protect yourself in this situation.