I am a surviving spouse collecting aid and attendance benefits. Do these transfer to an independent facility?

I would think so, but check with the VA.

Yes. I went to a seminar once where a presentation was being given on how to use the benefit to help pay for NH.

Only if you can demonstrate that you are continuing to pay privately for personal care needs which are narrowly defined by the VA. The laws around retirement/independent living were addressed in the Fast Letter 12-23