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My father passed in 2018. So I’m it. Only child, single and I’m looking for assistance with her care. Do I call a home care service? I don’t need someone everyday but maybe a weekend off or help with bathing and getting my mom up and about. She refuses to listen to me. But seems to listen to others. She won’t get up to go to her dr and I can’t pick her up and put her in the car. I’m dealing with burn out and just don’t even know if I’m doing anything right to keep her healthy as best as 92 year old with dementia can be. She also has copd and her kidneys are at stage 3 kidney disease. I’m just kinda lost because the dr won’t sign her up for home health care unless she is comes in for an X-ray of her lungs and I can’t get her to get in the car to do that. What other nurse services are there out there that could come and just check on my mom? Thank you for any advice !!

This is such an overwhelming situation. First you need to give yourself grace.
There are many stressors, fear is a big one. In my businesd it has always been about honor and respect. So I wach the tone of my voice, look straight at her as well as watch the speed of my words. I went around the house to make sure she is comfortable, CONSISTENCY is huge, a routine is so important. Nutrition is another important issue as sugar and different foods cause inflamation to the body and inflamation is key to alhimezers and demantia. Deffenetly omegas, not all are the same. I can only attest to YL products. Personal experience and schooling had brought me to this point. Also as you start with maybe foot bathes letting your mom know we are going to have a spa day, girks time ❤..maybe put an old movie on like I love lucy, whike your giving her a foot bath. This will help relax her and put her guard down. It may take a little time but dont loose heart. Choose your battles ❤ dont sweat the small stuff ❤ . I would also get a diffuser and use YL lavender. Sent goes into your Lymbic System, to tge area that seats your emotions and will help. You may have days where you need to step away from you mom ❤ like go in the bathroom and cry or yell ❤ to help release the pressure of what you are also going through ❤. God bless you, I hope this helps.
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Reply to HappyFeet1961
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I'm assuming you are her durable PoA... if not, that's something that needs to be put in place between the 2 of you or it will make caring for her much more difficult.

Can you get her assessed for hospice? Hospice doesn't imply that she's actively dying but does provide another level of attentive care for her without a lot of interventions.

Regarding weekends/time off: for that you should go through an in-home care agency. FYI the "best" people want the most hours and best times (I've used an agency for years). You will have better luck getting better people if you can offer someone a minimum of 28 hrs per week.

You can also contact your local area's Agency on Aging for more resources.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Will her doctor talk to her in the phone? Might that stern voice motivate her?
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Reply to AnnReid
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