My sister who has never lifted a finger to help with my mom and has never spent a dime to help while I am spending money to care for our mother will probably want half of money. I have plenty of people who can vouch that my mom has lived with me for over 25 yrs. Do I have to give her any money after my mom passes? My mom (86) has no life insurance, no will, no health directive, no power of attorney. She wants nothing to do with any of these things!
I would stop spending any of your own money and if you aren't joint owners of bank accounts or other assets, you sister will most likely get half.
Do you mean POD (paid on death) on Moms checking a account? Because you say Mom has no power of attorney. If its POD then you get whats in that account too. As long as Mom has a beneficiary set up for her bank accounts, then she does not need a Will. Unless, she has some expensive jewelry. Then maybe paperwork should be made up with who her personal belongs go to and havevit signed and notorized.
But Mom is doing you no favor in not having a POA. You may want to tell her that without a POA the State could take over her care if needed. No healthcare proxy, someone else may be making her health decisions.
You should not be using your own money on Mom. You use her SS and her savings. My Mom lived with me for 2 yrs. I used her money to pay for things she needed. Did not charge her rent or for food, she was still paying bills on her home, but I did use her money. If I had out of pocket, I wrote myself a check once a month from her acct. Put the receipts in an envelope with the month, year amount and check # on the outside.
Make sure you are POD on the checking account, POA ends at death and she would be entitled by law to receive some of the money if mom doesn't make you the beneficiary.
The POA ends with death. That account will then sit until there is an executor of a will OR an administrator of her estate appointed by the court for someone who died intestate. A mess, if there is another sibling suddenly showing up like a hungry sea gull upon the death.
So this is very poor decision making on mom's part. If she is still competent she needs to either add your name as co-owner to that account you manage as POA or as POD (pay on death).
If ALL of mom's assets are left in accounts that are POD, then you are co-owner of them. But if there are bills, then the bill collectors are going to want to be paid.
You should see an attorney. If there are assets you aren't listed on, say that POA account you manage as the POA, then that could get divided according to the laws of your state regarding someone who passed intestate (without a will). Sis might end up with money.
You should NOT be spending your own money on your Mom's "help." Especially her medical care, or similar costs. Mom should be giving you money for expenses, such as food, utilities, etc. Life is not a free ride!
You already have POA and are the Beneficiary, so don't need to worry. If Mom needs surgery, the Doctor's staff will push her for an Advance Directive.
Wills are for designating distribution of personal property, not real property. Wills also describe what type of funeral they want...burial or cremation? Private or public?
Being a designated Beneficiary cannot be contested by anyone. It would be nice for her to get Life Insurance, since that would cover the cost of her funeral expenses. Your POA will be used if she needs to go into long term care, so you don't pay for that, if it ever needs to happen. As Financial POA, your job is to protect her money and use it on her behalf while she is alive, since POA ends upon her death.
DO NOT promise to "never put her in a home" either. Tell her you will "take care of her" and drop it. Taking care of her is to do what Mom needs, if it ever comes to that.
The control you have is very sufficient. You don't need to give your Sister anything, since as Beneficiary you instantly own it. Mom would have to do a notarized Will to give Sister anything at this point. Why bring it up?
If the situation is either (2) or (3), you are not co-owner of the account, and the funds in the account, when your mom dies, will be divided equally among the heirs according to the rules of intestate succession (meaning, state law for how property is divided when a person doesn't have a will).