He he says he just wants to make sure I'm taken care of after he's gone, which includes the house we're living in atm and a car that we use everyday for him. He is competent. He has long-term insurance. How i get paid also. I just want to protect myself and him .
If he outright gives you an item then it is yours to do what you wish with it.
As long as there has been no pressure from you.
The perception of elder abuse is real and it does not take much for someone to file an abuse report/accusation. So just prepare yourself as that may happen.
Document everything.
Personally I would not accept a gift such as a house or a car as an employee.
I feel that would not be moral.
If he wishes to give you things of value have him leave these things to you in his Will. (I think even then I would feel "funny" about it)
Have you seen the car title with your name on it?
Is he paying the required taxes for you as an employee, including filing a Schedule H form with his own taxes, and providing you with a W-2 form for your own taxes?
Taking anything financial other than your pay can fall under financial elder abuse especially if there is cognitive decline. Also, watch out for elders who are generous gift givers. This is sometimes used as a bargaining chip maintaining control to keep a person from leaving.
For good reason. I've seen bad behavior from fellow CNAs. Make sure everything is legal and in writing and that both of you seek legal counsel. If his family believes their inheritance is going to you, they likely will not be happy. Protect yourself.
There will be a family law attorney who does cohabitation agreement work and partnership contract work. Take the car title with you and whatever documentation (right of survivorship?) you have on the house as well for them to review and for them to check to see if all is properly recorded to the County/State database. The family law atty can draw up a Memo of Understanding or personal Care contract for you and which he signs off on.
I would personally NOT again NOT CONTINUE living in his home or doing things for him without a clear legal understanding of and paperwork done as to your position in this situation. What Alva posted is spot on. Family will crawl out of caves if there is the possibility of inheritance & they will be able to find an atty go after you with “undo influence of a vulnerable adult” should you inherit and they get zero. This isn’t civil but criminal. Big scary difference.
Has there ever been situations that implied that you were married? Like you have gone on cruises or gone on vacations and when you meet people, it comes across as you are married. That you are introduced as such? Out of curiosity, is this happening?
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So he has LTCI (long term care insurance)? Have you seen the policy and seen him file the paperwork and actually be paid LTCI benefits?
LTCI have very narrow terms and pretty strict guidelines for them to pay. You want to know just what the conditions of the policy are.
There are 4 main factors:
1. Benefit period. LTCI tend to pay for a set period of time, like a maximum of 5 years;
2. Benefit amounts, so the LTCI will have a cap/maximum of what it will pay out. Tends to pay $150 - $250 a day;
3. Benefit type, so policy is paid out for a specific level and type of professional service. Like pays for a skilled care or pays for intermediate care (both of these involve services done by RNs, or CNAs or other licensed healthcare professionals) or pays for custodial care done by a caregiver but with MD supervision. Usually LtCI is done for in-home care and there is an in-home care agency that bills him for their services & he in turn files this with his LTCI to be reimbursed. LTCI is not designed to pay for 24/7 companionship care.
4. Benefit exclusions, there will be a period of time, tends to be 60-120 days in which the policy will not pay BUT the policy holder is themselves paying for care during this exclusion period of time. The self pay period required to be done & paid b4 LTCI will ever kick in.
You need to see the policy. And make a copy of it to take to your own attorney. LTCI are quite quite QUITE specific on their regulations being followed b4 they will pay a penny. LTCI is not going to send him a check for $200 a day just because he tells them he has a live in caregiver. There is filing to be done and it is substantial.
I’m concerned that this is all BS by an old rooster to take advantage of someone who needs a place to live. How did all this come about? Do you work for an agency and then he approached you to caregive directly for him?
Whatever the case, you need your own atty to discuss this with and they do a document to protect you just in case. Remember if this should go badly, it will be a criminal action filed against you. Not a civil action but criminal.
If this doesn't happen, then the family, after death, will come to accuse you of elder fraud, You may not only end with nothing, but you may end in jail.
It is best that you, if you are HIRED help, get paid now by a contract, good pay, and that is done with consistency. If you live with him rent-free this will allow you to save while you provide care legally. You will be declaring your wages as wages.
Gifting if someone is wealthy enough to do it, and they are competent, is up to them. But there are government rules regarding any future needs to get governmental assistance if the money has run out or been given away. And your elder needs to sit with you and an attorney to be informed and informed of options how to proceed.
I don't know what capacity you serve under or what, if any licensure. But we as CNAs, LVNs, RNs and etc are taught not to accept gifts. Pay is fine; gifting is not. It calls into question our use/influence over fragile patient/senior.
Cautionary tale: my neighbor Wendell had a girlfriend Nance. They were in their late 50s early 60s. Wendell developed cancer and Nance lived with him for many years and provided all his care. Wendall was a business owner and was very well-off, had 2 adult chilren from a previous marriage (who I never laid eyes on all the years he lived across from me). Nance was incredibly devoted to Wendall and provided all his care up until he passed. The minute he passed his children kicked her out of his house because apparently, Wendall didn't change his Will, make her his PoA or any such thing. I don't think he ever imagined his children would do what they did (and this was the same week Nance's oldest adult son died unexpectedly and tragically).
Make no mistake: money changes people and they come flying out of the woodwork the minute they smell an inheritance. You need to insist your "employer" show you the documentation for everything. Insist he make you his PoA. If not, this is a red flag.
As has been pointed out if you work for an agency you will need to follow whatever policy your employer has regarding this issue.
I also agree that he should show you his Will and if you're not named in it to receive the house, then he needs to do this soon. He can add you to his car title. Make sure he shows it to you, not just tells you about it. If he stalls or evades, then you should rethink your business arrangement.
Ask him to show you his Will. A person with as much as him has one. If he is alone he would also have made some kind of POA arrangements for himself in case he needs someone to make decisions for him. You need to find all these things out.
I worked in homecare for 25 years before going into the business. There was many an old man who wanted to 'take care' of me. Usually they're just blowing smoke up your a$$ because they want to make sure you stay with them. Their money, property, and everything else is almost always locked down tight by their adult kids or other family members. Make him show you a Will. Then you take him to whatever lawyer he made his Will with and have it changed. Then have them do a POA at the same time.
If you really want to lock down your payday with this guy and it sounds like you do, get him to the courthouse or a Justice of the Peace and marry him. Do this before any family gets a dementia diagnosis, petitions the court for conservatorship and puts him in a care facility. Believe me, family members in court always win in these situations over the hired homecare worker. Even deadbeat family members who don't bother with the elder.