I am a family caregiver, mother is the primary, but my parents never resolved power and control issues. Any advice?


How do we foster an environment where parents will be less focused on bossing each other and being right all the time?



I discovered that after over 50 years of marriage, my parents bicker more today than ever! It's rather funny. I mean, they nit pick, snap, and just seem to squabble for the fun of it. It annoys me, but, I stay out of it. One time, I said something to my mom after her comment being unfair. I'm planning my escape. At least for most of the week. I'll come back if they need for anything or doctor appointments.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Sunnygirl1

Been there, done that, have the medal for it. :) I foolishly tried to step between my parents and their long-standing "script" about how their marriage of 65 years would go (dad being waited on hand and foot, mom wearing herself out as the martyr). Made me crazy and they were just fine. So I learned that I had to let them do their thing and just be sure to take care of myself. It's not easy!!
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Reply to blannie

I agree with Countrymouse, to your parents what they are doing is normal to them.

I had an Aunt and Uncle who use to bicker non-stop with each other. Oh my gosh the language that was used, especially once I got older and finally understood the words they were using... oops.

When my Uncle passed away from a serious illness, my Aunt was devastated for decades. She missed him so very much :(

Your parents aren't going to change, in fact, the adrenaline may be helpful in keeping them alert with each other.
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Reply to freqflyer

If your parents haven't managed this in all their years of married life, what makes you think they will now?

If it is stressing you out beyond endurance - and I could certainly sympathise with that - you might do better to look for stress management strategies for yourself than to hope to improve your parents' long-established habits. For them, this is a normal happy marriage, yes?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Countrymouse