Follow
Share

All residents were recently moved to the other side of the center for renovations or so we were told. I was put with an individual who definitely has anger and other antisocial behvioral issues but at first I just chalked it up to dementia or Alzheimer's. The other day, he and I got into an argument after I came back from Physical Therapy learning how to properly use a wheelchair and he was sitting in the hall. We had a fire drill and everyone had to go into their rooms with the door shut. About three minutes later he starts backing up his wheelchair into my half of the room. A little background, when notices went out about the moves and the need to accomodate each other due to the smaller space, I purchased a bluetooth unit and headphones so I could hook up my TV and watch it via headphones so not to bother him as he sleeps a lot. Well back to the fire drill, I saw him backing and then going forward but was watching TV while sitting in my chair per PT orders. Now I know he knows how to use the call button to call the nurse, but he has absolutely no patience. So he keeps backing up right up til he is blocking my view of the TV. I finally take off my headphones and ask him what he needs. He wants the nurse. I told him, he has his call light and to use it, because him calling or me calling will be the same results then he wants to go outside. The doors are closed, I am not able to safely open them and esp. during a fire drill. He than wheels back to his bed but gets mad and starts to try and guilt me saying that I don't want to help him. At that point I just stopped arguing. Tonight I was trying to get to sleep, but his TV was blaring and his big ceiling lamp was on yet he was fast asleep. I didn't want to wake him up so I tried calling the nurse. I thought the light was working because I could see the bright red and it was taking an awfully long time. He woke up while I was waiting and I asked him to turn off his light at the very least. He just looked at me and said "crazy" and went back to sleep. He did this two more times and acknowledged me but had a very indignant look on his face and went back to sleep. So my question is...is this dementia or Alzheimer's or is this just very manipulative behavior? Thank you for reading through all of this.

Find Care & Housing
Pepsee.....yes, it seems so. I think there was kind of a bed shortage at the time, but also, there were lots of  curtains. When I got moved it was from a double room with one male roomie to a four-bed room with three male roomies. I didn't mind.....I was so sick and in pain that I just wanted quiet.  These men, like most men in hospital, didn't talk much! Lol, it was very peaceful and comfortable.  Plus I appreciated their "poop humour" when I was trying to go to the bathroom after two weeks on morphine!

(Another time I stayed at the hospital, about a year later, I had a double room shared with another woman.....she started talking the moment she heard I was awake and, honestly, never shut up!!!  I missed my male roomies, lol.)
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Dorianne
Report

A fire drill.....go to your rooms and close the door?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Sendhelp
Report

Dorianne, they put males and females together???
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Pepsee
Report

Tell them you do not feel safe sharing a room with him and they will (usually) move you right away. Use the words, "I don't feel safe."  The words must trigger their liability concerns or something, but they usually help. 

(Edit:  I've done this, in hospital.  Had a male roommate who was sundowning, and I woke to find him standing up, near the end of my bed, staring at me with what looked like an aggressive posture.  I didn't know anything about Alz. then - it freaked me out totally.) 
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Dorianne
Report

In the meantime, you *could* have fun with this. You *could* tell him you are a government spy that has been sent there for some ridiculous reason. If he repeats that, he will be seen as paranoid. :)
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to surprise
Report

My Aunt had a roommate like this. The woman chose not to have a TV and complained about Aunts. We got Aunt headphones so she could turn her TV down. The woman still wasn't happy because...she could see the TV. Finally, they changed Aunts room.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

An ombudsman should definitely have some answers. That is what they're there for.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Cats4Ever
Report

JPH, if your roommate does have dementia, bear in mind that at 41 you are awfully young and perhaps he can't shake the notion that you're not "staff"?

I hope they can arrange a room change for you quickly - and put your roommate somewhere he doesn't bother anyone else! Do you expect to be in the facility for long? Are there other plans going forward?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report

Hello all, thank you for your responses, I have been told that the facility is looking into doing a room change, either with him or me. The CNAs I have spoken to all dislike him and think he is just a jerk and not dementia, but like in answers above it could be both. Turns out the call light never came on and what I was seeing from my point of view was his overhead light was on amd that was shining through the red bulb making it look lit from the side. So no, there was no direliction from people not answering the call light. Although I do have to press the button really hard to get it to activate. I appreciate your advice.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to jph041
Report

As soon as my mom became combative and uncooperative, she was put in a room by herself even though she was on Medicaid and should have had a roommate. There was a bed in her room and she would have a roommate for a night or two but couldn’t be trusted long-term with someone in her room. Sounds like this guy needs the same treatment.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Report

If you don't get support and a room change from the staff, ask them how to transfer to another facility. That should shake them up a bit.

There's no excuse for such antisocial behavior, and it sounds like that more than like dementia.

When I had an appendectomy a few years ago, the first patient sharing the room was perfect, intelligent, knowledgeable, and friendly. The second obviously had dementia and was loud, uncooperative, refused meals 3 times and kept demanding something different, yelled, ridiculed staff, and kept the tv on even when she fell asleep.

She told staff and a relative different stories about how she was raped by multiple men. The story changed every time she repeated it.

She made totally inappropriate comments about her female "assets."

She even got out of bed and pulled up the dividing curtain to peek in and see what I was doing. Enough was enough. I couldn't get any rest with the commotion and racket.

First request for a room change was denied. Then I suggested someone come in and DC the IV or I'd do so myself as I was leaving AMA. Patients were moved around for about an hour and I finally got a different roommate.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to GardenArtist
Report

It could be a little of both. My mom's roommate is always wanting something different from what she has: when she is in the room she wants to be in the lounge, when she is in the lounge she wants to be in her room..... Whenever I am with my mom she will constantly ask me to do something because anyone she sees is a nurse - can you put me to bed? can you take me out of here? etc. Those with dementia want what they want *right now* and can't always figure out the appropriate way to get their needs met or that someone has already told them they'll be with them in a few minutes. It's challenging.

I'd focus your energy on finding out why your call bell went unanswered... and try to spend as much time as possible apart from each other. I hope your rehab goes well and you will be home soon!
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to cwillie
Report

You can ask for a room change
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to MACinCT
Report

Why are you expected to take care of this horse’s ass? That’s why you’re paying to be in the facility? Get your family (or you speak up) that your roommate is having a negative effect on your health. I suppose you’d speak to the DON or social worker.

Good luck.
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to HolidayEnd
Report