I am 19 and my mother is dying of Cerebral Vasculitis. I need to get her to make a will before she can't make decisions, but she avoids the subject. What should I do?

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There are several types of wills. All you need is a basic will, in this case designating a Personal Representative/ Executor. Assets are usually held by a financial instituition with a list of beneficiaries. The beneficiary list is important. A lawyer should look over this list because of the possibility of coersion on the part of immediate caregivers/relatives. If she dies intestate, don't worry. She's not the first.
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As others have said, a trusted person or even an attorney should speak with her. Her doctor might be able to help, she may need to be classifed legally incompetent , that is not capable of making decisions on her own. Does she receive disability benefits? If you have siblings, discuss this with them. Not only did my parents get a will, but the kids set up a trust fund, having ownership of all their assets.
You need to speak with an attorney about this. If your Mom has to go to a nursing home, they can take almost all of her assets to pay for it.
Good luck.
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It's not true that a will won't do you much good. And lawyers are expensive. There is a great deal you can do, simply, with information on line: basic forms. You can then get a lawyer to help you with the fine-tuning. But why are you the only person thinking about this? No aunts/uncles/older cousins? How about a best friend of your mom's? Get some older people in on this project. Not because you are too young to do it, but because you shouldn't be doing it alone.
Good luck.
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Whoa!!! This is a heavy load for a 19 year old. Perhaps you can get a Will Template - fill everything out re: assets and beneficiaries. Then talk to her about going to have it witnessed and notarized. Perhaps her resistance is her way of denying what is happening to her. Is there anyone that can help you? Hang in there!!!!
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Hi Thomas,

A Will won't do you much good any way, they are easily contested in court, and are nearly useless, but a simple will would be better than nothing. Most folks go with a living trust these days, which cannot be contested, an executor is assigned to over see the trust to make sure the trust is followed through as the person wanted. If you are the only child, then obviously you do need to do something, especially given your age. You can get a living trust for anything from just dividing up furniture, to other property as well as bank accounts. You can try to purchase a living trust package on line from one of the reputable legal services, have your mother sign it with a witness present, and then have each paper notorized by a notary, usually found at your local bank, you don't have to have your mother present to have it notarized. Notary fees are very reasonable, 20.00 or so.

I wish you well on this difficult journey.
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Sometimes people are afraid that if they make out a will, they will die. On the other hand some people fear that if they do make out a will they will have to share the information with the beneficiaries and are afraid of the fall out. Figure out where mom stands on a will and her thoughts and feelings behind NOT making one out. Let her know that you will be more than happy to drive her to an attorney and then pick her back up. Does she have a power of attorney or living will? She should have all three- but if she doesn't have these either then this would be a good place to start. Hope this helps.
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I would contact an elder Law attorney in your area. They can come to your home and facilitate the conversation for you. also, contact your local hospice, even if she is not currently on service, they may be able to provide some counseling services to you and your family. Prayers and hugs! Pamela
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When my father was dying from leukemia at age 76, he still did not have a will; despite having been ill for over a year. It was too difficult for me to discuss this with him, so my husband had a talk with him. They agreed that my husband would have a lawyer draw up a basic will; everything was going to my mother, and then the lawyer and my husband went to my Dad's hospital room where they talked. After some minor changes, Dad signed the will. He passed away only 2 weeks later. The will has been very helpful in caring for my mom financially. Good luck with this difficult task. Maybe having a relative who is less emotionally attached help out would be a good idea.
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Tell her that if she does not make out a will,the Government will put all of her assets and monies into probate and no one can touch it until the probate is settled. The court will determine who gets what. It is critical for her to attend to this matter as the probate could last years and taxes and costs can chew away at any money there is for the family. I know, as my mom and dad resisted for years. Tell her the good news that she will be at peace knowing that she has taken care of her family. Without it!!!! Have a family friend help her or her doctor. Have you heard of Pre-Paid Legal, it has been a God send for me. Check it out. Good luck Been there, done that. Vickie
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I agree totally.....If you are not able to talk to mama about this subject, have a pastor, a trusted friend or relative to tell her how imperative it is. It's a much easier task now while she is able to to tell her wishes! Good luck, bless you all...
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