A little background. My mother is 81 years old. She has been a widow for over 20 years. She adored my dad and basically gave up on quote living unquote when he died. At first, she went out and socialized with friends, but gradually stopped. Now she just sits at home and goes out only when she had to do grocery shopping and to the bank, and occasionally to family gatherings. Her condition. Physically she is in pretty good shape. She is nearly deaf, but refuses to get a hearing aid. She rereads the same books, watches the same things on TV, does not have a computer, so she is not stimulating her mind. She is having short-term memory loss problems and has a chronic cough she has had for months. She went to the doctor last week, has not been for years and only went because it had been so long she was going to be dropped as a patient. The doctor suggested a chest x-ray, which she has refused to do. She is going to a hearing clinic to check out her tinnitus, but refuses to get a hearing aid. She quote forgot unquote to tell the doctor about her memory problems. My sister lives in a nearby city and tries to visit her once or twice a month. I live across country, so cannot really help other than to try to do research on how to handle our mother. My sister and I want to know how to talk to her about her options. We feel if she refuses to get medical help for her cough and memory problems, she is going to end up in a nursing home soon. My sister thinks she is afraid to know what might be wrong with her. But she is also afraid of going to a nursing home. She is also very stubborn and refuses to talk about it. Even claiming she does not have a memory problem. How can we talk to her and get her to at least understand her options? My sister has not wanted to tell my mother that she is going to end up in a nursing home if things continue as they are because she feels it is too cruel. But now we think we need to give her the truth of the situation. We are torn between allowing her to live her life the way she wants, it is her life after all, and wanting to help her lead a better life so she does not end up in a nursing home, at least for awhile. What do we do?