My husband's memory is rapidly deteriorating and he has fits of rage. Any advice?

My mother has dementia. She often remembers things wrong and sometimes totally makes things up. To her how she tells things is the truth. She can get very angry if she is challenged about her "facts," so I do not do it anymore unless it is important. Important to me means that it would create much work, cost much money, or hurt someone if I went along with her version of reality. Most things are not that important, so not worth questioning or correcting.

If the rage becomes too severe, please get to a safe place and call the police. They will probably know how to handle it best. If it is the normal type of dementia anger, going along with things said may be enough. Dealing with someone with dementia can often be like living in an alternate universe. The hopeful thing is that the extreme anger often passes with time.

At some point, he becomes a danger to himself, to you and to others. You end up isolated and under great stress, not good for your health. One third of all caregivers die before their charges, and situations like yours are a perfect example. My aunt would not place my uncle with dementia in memory care until family discovered he was beating her black and blue daily in order to get the key to the house (he did significant wandering). My aunt died of a massive heart attack shortly after she placed him.

He lived on, happy as a clam, for another 3 years.

The sooner you place him, the more easily he'll adjust. Oh, and you need a new doctor. I would suggest a well qualified geriatric psychiatrist.

I have to agree with all of the above. I watched my MIL go through it. The police had to be called many times. You do not want harm to come to him, if he wanders away.

Next time your husband shows signs of rage, call 911 and explain what is going on, that he could have Alzheimer's/dementia. The EMT's will know what to do.

Once hubby is in ER the doctors will do the testing that is needed. When it comes time to discharge him from the hospital, tell the hospital that you can no longer care for him at home, unless the doctors are able to calm your husband with meds.... if not, a case worker will place your husband in a continuing care facility.

Remember, with such memory issues this could become worse, this is for your own safety. No one wants to see you get hurt.

Divorce him and say you can't take it anymore.

You petition the court for appointment of a Guardian ASAP. Do not delay.