I too am assuming Dad passed. If he left a Will he also assigned an Executor. That Executor abides by the Will and must prove to Probate that they have. He writes each beneficiary and provides a copy of the Will. The original is filed with probate and becomes public. All outstanding debts get paid first and an accting done. Once each beneficiary signs the accting, the estate is distributed.
If no Will, someone is assigned Administrator by Probate. This person carries out the same responsibilities an executor only the State determines who inherits.
As said Dad should have paperwork signed if he was giving loans out. If he didn't may have to consider them as gifts. He could have mentioned them in his Will naming the amounts not paid back and that amount is to be deducted from their share of the inheritance.
As your FIL was on hospice I am assuming he is now dead. I don't understand what you mean about bickering about money. Money passes according to the dictates of your FIL's will. If he had no will they pass by state law. State law doesn't say that you can either forgive old loans or pay for past services in which there was no agreement for pay nor any contract verbal or written. So, no you can't. You can only get paid at the time you make an agreement while agreeing to do the work, as with all "jobs". You had no such agreement and you did the work willingly for free, and now it is too late.
If the inter-family loans were never put in writing and signed, I'd be very careful about how his finances are being moved and managed. Undocumented "arrangements" and transactions (or unsupported cash-based transactions) can appear as "gifting" by Medicaid. Many states have a 5-year "look back" on the Medicaid app and gifting above certain amounts can delay or disqualify him. Your family needs to preserve his ability to qualify.
Charging for after-the-fact caregiving... I think your FIL should have created a written contract, dated and signed outlining the rate and duration (or his FPoA if FIL is incapacitated). All transactions need to be thoroughly documented with an obvious "paper trail" of payments. I would consult with both a certified elder law/estate planning attorney and a Medicaid Planner for FIL's state. Participants on this global forum aren't experts in this so be very careful about getting legal and accounting advice from here. There's no accountability if someone gives you erroneous advice. Here's a helpful article from this forum:
If no Will, someone is assigned Administrator by Probate. This person carries out the same responsibilities an executor only the State determines who inherits.
As said Dad should have paperwork signed if he was giving loans out. If he didn't may have to consider them as gifts. He could have mentioned them in his Will naming the amounts not paid back and that amount is to be deducted from their share of the inheritance.
Let them fight it out. Just stand back.
I don't understand what you mean about bickering about money. Money passes according to the dictates of your FIL's will. If he had no will they pass by state law. State law doesn't say that you can either forgive old loans or pay for past services in which there was no agreement for pay nor any contract verbal or written.
So, no you can't. You can only get paid at the time you make an agreement while agreeing to do the work, as with all "jobs". You had no such agreement and you did the work willingly for free, and now it is too late.
Charging for after-the-fact caregiving... I think your FIL should have created a written contract, dated and signed outlining the rate and duration (or his FPoA if FIL is incapacitated). All transactions need to be thoroughly documented with an obvious "paper trail" of payments. I would consult with both a certified elder law/estate planning attorney and a Medicaid Planner for FIL's state. Participants on this global forum aren't experts in this so be very careful about getting legal and accounting advice from here. There's no accountability if someone gives you erroneous advice. Here's a helpful article from this forum:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-get-paid-for-being-a-caregiver-135476.htm