Follow
Share

I assume he means the house w lived in 23 years. He apparently also thinks his wife lives there. He brings this subject up at least once a day.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
No sis took mom for a drive by, it got very ugly, mom got out of the car and was demanding to get it the house.. We just try to keep her focused on where she is and who she is with and all the fun stuff at the ALF.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Don't argue with him. Logic and reasoning and "the truth" won't change his mind. Go along, then redirect. "I'd love to go with him to your other place. How would we get there? ... Oh, by train? OK, I'll check the train schedules after dinner. For right now can you keep me company in the kitchen while I make some cookies?" or "I'm so sorry that we won't be able to go there this week. Tell me what you like best about that place."
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

A few months ago, my mother was mad at everyone in her Assisted Living. She told them they were in Las Vegas, and no believed her. I had to break the news that she was not in Las Vegas. Then it was weeks on end of she had to find a new place because I was moving. Again I reassured her that I was not moving. If you wait a while, your husband will get stuck on something else.

What is hard for me is that my mother taught me to never lie to her or anyone else. It is so hard to try to go along with her on her fantasy travels. When I do, it is much easier.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I have read that "home" means different things and often is so vague in the mind of the dementia patient that they don't really know where they are describing. It may be they want comfort, calm and security and they call that home. I'm not sure we can know exactly what they mean.

My LO has recently talked of going home and she gives the city that she lived in as a very young girl. She moved to a nearby town at age 6. But still, she recalls something about this city and thinks her parents want her to go there. She does know her parents are dead.

I have a friend whose mom asked to go home often and when they took her home for a visit she denied it was her home and claimed she was at a hotel. When she returned to the nursing home, she told them all that her daughter lived in a motel and she never wanted to go there again. She never asked to go home after that.

Whatever seems to work in the moment is a good idea, IMO. Depending on his level of dementia, you might offer some comments about how his progress will determine when he goes there or that you have to sort out the paperwork, get forms completed for a move, or some other short explanation that satisfies him. I often say that I'm working on the transfer and for now, let's talk about some great things that are going on like the evening activities, singing group, dinner menu, etc. I suggest a walk to the activity room or suggest we make a list of items she might need like toothpaste.....anything to move the topic along. If she persists, I keep moving it along.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have read where some dementia patients will *want to go home* but the home they mean is where they grew up as a child.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.