What can you do about a husband with dementia who is in AL and plans to call an attorney to get what he wants?

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My husband did call an attorney who was out of the office for two weeks, so he hasn't talked to him yet. He disagrees with the doctor who has told him he can no longer drive, handle financial or legal issues due to his dementia? He also is against my having P.O.A., even though he signed the P.O.A., witnessed by a different attorney. He's calling this a "take-over"; he wants to handle financial issues. He wants to know if we're "headed for divorce". I have the P.O.A. and the health care P.O.A.

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I think a wise attorney will understand where this is coming from if he has background. I'd write the attorney a letter and give him/her the doctor's name, as well as all of the information given here. With a doctor backing you up, it will be obvious that your husband can no longer make these decisions and a reputable attorney will turn down the case. It's possible he hasn't been "out of town" but if hoping to avoid even talking with your husband because he already understands the issue. But being proactive won't hurt.
Good luck,
Carol
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I had the same problem with my father. He always disagrees with everything the doctor or we said, threatened to get a lawyer and sue, take me out of the will, change his insurance, get a new POA and even run away. We finally had to go to the next step and talk to a lawyer ourselves. We ended up going to court and becoming his legal guardian. In order to do this, he needed to have a psychological evaluation which he naturally thought would help him. In the end he was declared incompetent and guardianship was granted. Believe me, this was not easy on us but in the end it was necessary.
Best of luck,
Jim
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Jim, good for you. You did what you had to do. My dad told my brother and me that we "threw your mother and me under the bus" when we decided they both could no longer live in their house. I think my dad was scared and in denial about my mom's Alzheimer's. We can only do what we think is best. Hugs
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Just very painful issues that many families are having to deal with. Sometimes we think death is the most painful thing that can happen to us. I beg to differ?? Watching a loved one turn into a person that you do not know, I believe is more stressful. Not to mention the quilt, many of these loved ones experience. I think that stress scale needs some revising, by some people who have actually experienced it!
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A friend of mine had this same problem with both of his parents when they had dementia. Of course they don't realize they have a problem but fortunately the doctors do and can help you show this to the lawyer and to the court if needed.
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