My husband with Alzheimer's thinks I'm dating. How do I handle this?

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In June of 2015 I found bedbugs crawling on me when I was in bed. I have no earthly idea how I got them since I don't travel and hardly anyone visits. I worked for months to get rid of them and was finally successful. I haven't seen any in months but I haven't let my guard down. I've heard that they can live without food for up to 18 months. I have not been able to sleep in that room since this began. I think I have PTBBS.....post traumatic bedbug syndrome. Lol.


My husband with Alzheimer's still sleeps in there. I protected the bed so they couldn't get to him. I know. If they can't get to him they can't get to me either. I never claimed to be rational.


The problem is my husband cannot understand why I don't sleep in our bed. He saw everything I had to do to get rid of them but he can't remember. He thinks I am lying. I kept some dead ones in a plastic container and then sealed that in a baggy so I could show him the bugs. That worked for a while. Not anymore. Now he thinks I won't sleep with him because I'm dating. When I'm in the shower he bangs on the door wanting to know who's in there with me. He wakes me up in the middle of the night with the same question. This whole week he has been ranting on and on everyday about my alleged dating, among other things. Then he says he doesn't care what I do and says we should sell the house and get a divorce. I just say ok. I'm not too worried about that since he can't comprehend much of what he read so I don't think he could find an attorney in the yellow pages.


I could probably force myself to sleep in our bed since I'm 99 percent sure the bugs are gone but there is another problem. He rarely bathes. He hasn't had a shower since October. The room stinks! I spray the room almost daily with a disinfecting and deodorizing spray but the odor comes back.


Is there anybody else out there that doesn't sleep in the same room with their spouse who has Alzheimer's? If so, does your spouse have a problem with it and how do you handle it?

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Just show up with your stinky husband. Let the doc script the bath aide. She'll come and sweet talk him into it. That's HER job.

Yes he needs drugs. More than an Alzheimer's drug, he needs some for delusions and agitation. Sometimes an anti anxiety agent works. Sometimes you need an anti psychotic. Find a geriatric psychiatrist. They are worth their weight in gold.
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Barb: I asked his HMO primary care Dr. over a year ago to send him to a geriatric psychiatrist but she said all a psychiatrist would do is give him drugs. Now I know that is what he needs. Drugs. Lots of them. Just kidding. She sent him to a neurologist. She gave him Namenda and an antidepressant.

I would love to have someone come bathe him but the mere mention of his needing to shower sends him into a tirade. He gets highly insulted because he insists that he takes a shower everyday. You are right. He can't be reasoned with. I don't know how I'm going to get him to the Dr. I had to cancel his appointment Monday because he refused to shower and get dressed. I don't think they would appreciate a stinky half dressed man sitting in their waiting room.

Susie: I can't wait to get a whole new bedroom set. I ruined the finish on the one I have with all the spray I used.
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Can you get a new mattress? That might ease your mind about the bugs, because it would ease mine! I second the bath aide suggestion. We did this with my FIL who has forgotten how to bathe, and it has made a world of difference. He didn't want to do it, but we made a big deal about how nice he looked with clean hair and how nice he smelled, so he liked that and continues to allow someone to clean him.
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Lataza; has your husband been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for meds to calm his agitation?

Have you had his doctor order a "bath aide" to come and shower him once a week?

Get both of these things rolling tomorrow. You can't reason with someone with a broken brain.
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