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We have door chimes and a tracking device. But issue is refusal to take directions from me. His wife.

In my general geographical area in the last week and a half, two seniors with Alzheimer’s died because they walked off from their houses. They were unrelated and in two different cities
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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I sounds like it's time to put him in memory care. Even if you fenced in your property and he couldn't wander off the property, his care is becoming too much for you to contend with on your own. No one should have to live with being berated every day while also being one-hundred percent responsible.

Good for you looking into memory care for him. That will be the right decision for you both.
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Juanita6 Apr 24, 2025
The time is drawing closer for me to make arrangements for a move for my husband. The VA is now providing 12 hours a week for a caregiver to come help out so that is really good. Much of my time with hubby is real good. But it is pretty unpredictable which is so sad. Thanks for your encouragement.
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Make sure he has an id bracelet with your name and phone number on it and
indication that he has memory problems!
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Juanita6 Apr 24, 2025
Yes, he has been wearing such a bracelet for two years. The one time when it could have come in very handy, the folks didn't notice it when they were trying to help him find home. But the authorities they were about to call probably would have seen it.
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Thank you. I'm starting the process for next step. I know it's that time.
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Depending in where you live, you may have different types of memory care facilities available. Some have generous fenced outdoor spaces that residents are free to walk around. Others have small courtyard type areas. Some are on high floors with only an enclosed porch. Inside, some have long looping hallways for residents who like (more often feel compelled, because that's what their brain is telling them) to just walk and walk and walk every day. So keep your husband's specific needs in mind, if you have a choice. Remember that it's for his safety. I'm sorry that you're having to make this transition. Let us know how it goes.
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Juanita6 Apr 20, 2025
We have a very good facility here as far as for his care. But won't be a place for his walks. As his mobility continues to weaken, I guess that problem will resolve itself. Thank you.
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Husband has been helped and given rides also. He isn't able to give them much info but most on this country road are familiar with seeing him outside around our place. He can be very pleasant and easy to get along with much of the time. Makes it harder to make the decision to move him to memory care.
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lealonnie1 Apr 20, 2025
Berating you is not pleasant. But the main reason to move someone into Memory Care Assisted Living is twofold: for their safety and because you are no longer able to handle their care, which is where you're at right now.
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I think unless you have a yard that is fenced and you can lock it the time your husband can go outside and putter around are over.
If he is in a yard that he can not get out of his refusal to come in when you want him to is an inconvenience that you can work around but if he can leave the property that is a potential disaster. (even with a tracking device. )
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Juanita6 Apr 20, 2025
I honestly don't know how I can physically keep him from going out. But I agree with your assessment.
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I think that the time for walking in any place other than a control facility may be close to being over, unless you can keep up with him, call uber or lyft when you both need a ride back and etc.

Your choices will become more and more limited at this point, as you are already observing.
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Juanita6 Apr 20, 2025
It is hard with my arthritic knees to keep up with him as he crosses fields and through the woods, all the while berating me. I can't imagine keeping this up when the heat of summer arrives.
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Don't let your husband outside to walk if he's falling and being difficult, Juanita! Have you looked into Memory Care Assisted Living for him? My mother's place had a beautiful garden with no street access the residents could stroll or sit in. Also have the doctor write a prescription for a walker for hubby so he can have help with mobility issues. (Medicare pays for 1 appliance every 5 years) And perhaps calming meds to help him relax.
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Juanita6 Apr 20, 2025
He tells me, "I do what I want to do". I'm considering meds and starting to look into memory care facilities.
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Looks like you’ll have to walk with him.
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Juanita6 Apr 20, 2025
Yes I do walk with him or follow close behind. He usually tells me to get away and leave him alone. He gets tired eventually or we stop at a neighbors. His gait is off and he sometimes falls. When he does get turned toward home he will take my hand for support and take stops to rest.
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