Why does my husband with Alzheimer's fondled a woman when I was standing there? He keeps denying it.

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This has torn our marriage and our family apart, he remembers everything he has even done but this and me standing there.Really hurts we been married 48 years thinking divorce unless i get answers soon. he has always tended to lie so it is very to believe anything out his mouth, we had a good marriage. been diagnosed 1st.stages of Alzheimer's. i realize latter stages this could happen but that early?????

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Thank you Babalou! Teepa Snow is GREAT!
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Proofer, youvsay your husband has dementia, not Alzheimers. I believe that can only be determined by autopsy, but anyway....

He has dementia. His brain is broken in a fundamental and unfixable way. You need to figure out how to understand that most of his actions are not intentional. The are not aimed at you. They have nothingvto do with you.

Read EVERYTHING you can about dementia. Look at Teepa Snow videos. And google stuff abot6 Justice sandra Day O'connor. Her husband who had Alzheimers became attaced to a woman in his memory care facility. It's part of the diseaee, sometimes. It doesn't make it hurt a ny less. But it's not aimed at us.
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Your husband's behavior could be part of his dementia. You might check with a neurologist about the type he has. I'm so sorry you're facing this kind of problem. My 93 yr old father in law has frontotemporal lobe dementia and one of his behaviors is that he's sexually inappropriate. To me, actually, his son's wife, and he lives with us. Over the past year we've learned a lot. We've learned he can't help it. We've learned we can't reason with him about it. We've learned he lies about doing it. We've learned he'll promise to stop and then do it again the very next day. He forgets he ever did it before, and he forgets he promised to stop. These are just some of the things we've learned about what's called Sexually Inappropriate Behavior (SIB) in dementia.

We've also learned it can be difficult to live with. As his wife, of course you're hurt by your husband's behavior. I can't even imagine. My husband is devastated by his father's behavior toward me. The hurt is intimate and deep and incredibly personal.

If you haven't already, talk with a neurologist with experience at frontotemporal dementia. There are some drugs that can (sometimes) help. Talk to a close friend, or a family member you trust. And by all means talk to people here, or in a dementia caregiving support group. There are other people who have had to deal with situations very like yours...embarrassing, hurtful, and part of a terrible disease. *hugs* I hope other people weigh in with their advice. I got some very good advice and lots of support when I first came here to talk about my problem with my Lothario FIL.
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Proofer, do you know what kind of dementia he has?
According to WebMD "the first symptoms of frontotemporal dementia may be personality changes or unusual behavior. People with this condition may not express any caring for others, or they may say rude things, expose themselves, or make sexually explicit comments."
In many forms of dementia it is often memory of recent events that are the first to go, as well as the social filters that keep us from acting out inappropriate behaviours and saying something impolite in public. You say up until now your marriage has been good, but then you also say he has always been a smooth talking liar. Either way you are likely never going to get a confession out of him, he may truly not remember or he may be embarrassed at his failure to curb what he now recognizes as an inappropriate impulse. I suggest you read as much as you can about dementia so you can better understand what is going on. Get ready because the dementia train has only just left the station.
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Thankyou, forgot to say 1 stages of dementia not alzheimers.
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Watch videos from Teepa snow on utube, may shed some light on your husbands behavior
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