Husband wants to fix things that are not broken.The cost to fix is getting expensive, what do I do?

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I am tempted to put locks on all the doors so he can not go into any room,unless I let him. I have locks on outside doors what do I do with the windows he climbs out every chance he gets. I am completely depressed. I have my own health needs. I have a caregiver 2 times a week 4 hours now 3 hours into 2 weeks. 5:30 pm until 8:30 pm. What should I do for my concerns having money issues also. Thank you.

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Call APS. This is a safeguarding issue. You, one lady on your own, cannot possibly ensure the safety of a physically fit man who is determined the leave the house. Your husband's dementia places you both at risk.

Even if they can't directly offer you help, they should be well informed about what resources are available to you locally and how you can access it, and they should be able to help guide you through the financial / benefits / Blue Cross and Medicaid maze.

Because at the end of the day, it still holds true - if this situation continues you will break, and they will have your husband on their hands anyway but in a much worse, confused condition.

"Sorry I can't help" without any suggestions about who can or how you might go forward is a lousy answer. I suppose, being a hospital social worker, she didn't want to stray off her own patch? I hope APS will do better, please let us know how you get on.
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Thank you for all the wonderful replies. In August he went missing and the police found him 6 hours later TV news and all. No lunch , no dinner no medicine. Walked for all that time. Next day early morning I got dead bolt key locks for the door. My neighbor called within the hour said he went out the window. I found him four blocks away. An ambulance with police help took him to the ER. He was in 23 hour hold to evaluate . Sent home with me . The next week his doctor said to take him to ER his heart was slowing down. The social worker from the hospital was working on a nursing home. She was trying to do Medicaid .no locked units available.nine nursing homes did not want. To top it off our insurance blue cross said he did not qualify because it was not medical. (His heart was working fine after the ER took him off his medication. ) they said he had mental health issues with his dementia. So he came home again. Social worker said she was sorry she could not help me. But,when I got home I should look for someplace to put my husband for his safety. That's out of pocket. Assisted living min. $4,000 a month. We only have $3,000 a month. I still have a mortgage and my own heath issues to pay for. I need his money to live here. But,if they take his pension,soc. Sec. and half of the IRA as they said I will be destitute. I have no children to live with. What are my options? Adult day care do not have night time care .He goes haywire around 5pm.
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My heart goes out to you and your husband - that is no way for either of you to live. You need to find out where you can place him so that you can go back to being his wife and visit him and let 3 shifts of caregivers take care of keeping him safe and occupied. Please let us know how you're doing...we care.
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What about adult day care? Giving him something to do in a safe environment may help him feel less antsy while he is at home, and it sounds as though you need a break.
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You poor thing.

You can't keep this up, you know. What happens to your husband if you break down through exhaustion and worry? Please take Eyerishlass's advice and talk to someone about possible care options for your husband as soon as you can - and why not make that today?
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A caregiver for 4 hours now and for 3 hours two weeks from now is not sufficient for your husband. If he's climbing in and out of windows he needs to be in a more secure environment with 24-hour care.

Medicaid will pay for a nursing home or assisted living. If you tour a few facilities and choose one you like the social worker there will assist you in getting through the Medicaid process.

Your husband isn't safe at home if he's trying to get out and you can't watch him every second of the day. I hope you consider long term care. A social worker at a facility is a good person to talk to about this as well. It might help if you can talk about it.
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Dear Caregiver586,

I'm so sorry, I know it's a lot to manage. It sounds like your husband's care is escalating. Have you talked with a social worker about possible options. Do you think it might be better to consider assisted living, memory care or a nursing home? The social worker should be able to help you and your husband access all available resources in the community. My other suggestion is talking with a counselor or joining a support group.
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