I am working full time and paying aides out of my pocket to care for husband. Medicare won't pay?

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My husband is 47 and he had a traumatic brain injury and cannot walk. He is home. Medicare won't pay because I have insurance through my work. I am running out of money and not sure what to do he is not eldery so its so hard to get help he cannot get disablity because they say I work and make to much 34,000 a year is not alot. I have looked everywhere for help I went to a attorney they say if I divorce him he could get help I don't want to divorce him.

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He should be on SSD which is not income based. Look into that. Social security disability usually denies your first application. Apply again, with a lawyer to help you.
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Peety, I'm sorry to read of this unfortunate situation and your husband's injury.

I have no knowledge of disability insurance but I'm wondering if reaching out to others in similar situations might offer some suggestions.

In SE Michigan, there's a Rehab Institute of Michigan which provides therapy, short term and I believe long term rehab. From my understanding, it's more than a therapy facility though, but addresses other issues of TBI, stroke and other brain and neurological issues.

Until the parent company was acquired by a for profit corporation, RIM used to offer dozens of seasonal classes in rehab issues ranging from simple orthopedic injuries to complex neurological issues. I went to several of these free classes; they were excellent, as were the therapists who taught them.

You might want to research to see if a similar facility and/or program exists in your area and contact them for suggestions. My experience was that the therapists were knowledgeable not only with rehab, but with peripheral issues in adapting to life post TBI. Their role expanded to include counseling.

I'm thinking they might know of some way, some source, that might provide additional assistance. It's worth a try.

There might also be a support group that you could join to learn how others managed similar situations.

Might be a long shot, but perhaps it would help.
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I've known 2 separate couples that divorced for the very reason you stated. One couple had a son with severe developmental impairments. They couldn't get any aid for him because the husband made too much money. They were given the same advice you were so they divorced. They still live have a life together. The divorce is on paper only.

With the second couple it was the wife who had a TBI and the husband could find very little financial assistance in caring for her. They too divorced and she became eligible for Medicaid. He's still her primary caregiver and again, their divorce is on paper only.

I know you don't want to divorce your husband but it wouldn't be like you were abandoning him. You could still care for him and love him and be with him. The divorce would take the cost of care off of you and open your husband up to aide he's been ineligible for thus far.

And these two couples I've told you about still refer to themselves as married. They celebrate anniversaries and refer to eachother as husband and wife.

I wish you luck in whatever you choose.
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