I can't get over my husband thinking he is in the stuff that is on TV programs. What stage is this?

College, I take care of my mother. She has been on aricept for 11 years. Her primary recommended I add Namenda and she started seeing people looking in the windows at night. I took her off it and the hallucinations stopped. Those meds can do a job and sadly the patient can't tell us. Dehydration is a big problem with the elderly. It definitely makes drawing blood more difficult. I just had blood drawn last week and the nurse asked if I had any water that day. She said it plumps up the veins. Try to keep a bottle water next to him during the day. God Bless you! Not easy. I'll pray for you!

College, TV can be a tough one. It's often a good "babysitter" to keep them occupied while you try to accomplish something else...but it can be a curse when they get to the point that you describe. My mother is there now & simply changing the channel isn't a guarantee, nor is finding innocent old programs like Andy Griffith or I Love Lucy. Mom was all twisted up in knots the other morning watching Leave It to Beaver. Can't get much more innocent than that! But she thought what was happening to Beaver was happening to her. He'd gotten into trouble for turning in a poorly written paper & had to do it over again. She was BENT because she had to redo her homework & didn't know where to start. Changed the channel to the 80's sitcom, Too Close For Comfort. Again, she thought what Muriel was doing was what she was doing & she got torqued again because she was afraid people wouldn't like her new hairdo & face lift! I knew changing channels again was not likely to do anything but change the scenario she was upset about so I asked her to walk out for the mail with me...for the 4th time that day! Sometimes their incredibly short & swiss-cheesed memory can actually be a blessing! I know there are some on this board that are completely against using meds to control behaviors but, in my case, using behavior modifying meds have permitted me to keep mom at home longer so I would definitely ask his doc at his next check-up to give some a try. You may have to try different ones or different combinations before you hit on the right mix so don't despair if they don't seem to help right away. It is worth the time & doc visits to get the right ones!

The "being in the t.v. programs" sounds more like being in a manic phase of bipolar disorder and can be an additional disorder besides the dementia. Get a qualified psychiatric evaluation. He's saving you from buying the more expensive disposable wet wipes, but NEVER put box tissues in the toilet! You don't say how old he is, nor yourself, but dementia is a cruel disease that takes its toll on both the affected and caregiver. You will have to find the strength to keep everything together. Hang in there!

College, as was mentioned, nearly everyone here can understand your frustration and pain. In my opinion, stages are "guesses" at best anyway, because not everyone follows the same path with their dementia. There has to be some order, so stages have been assigned to behaviors, but people are so different.

For practical purposes, it's more about coping with the changes as they move forward. TV is out. I learned that early with my dad. News is horrible and he was back in the war every time the news came on. DVDs with music are great. Nature shows. Anything but TV. DVDs of favorite old TV shows are available, now,too and many can be streamed.

The pure logic of making wetwipes by putting water in tissues made me smile (in retrospect we can smile - at the time it's pretty tough). But there was logic to this in your husband's world. As has been said by the wise people on this site, you'll be having to change fast to keep up. I hope that you can find some way to receive respite. No one can live with this day in and day out without some reprieve and stay healthy.

Keep reading the responses on this thread and let us know how you are doing. Everyone has compassion to offer and you'll pick up a few tips along the way.
Take care,
Carol

Pamz, is your Dad still alive? How long has he been going thru this dementia?

College, I am also an only child. I also never pictured this.. my parents were world travellers, always on the go and healthy. Dad passed in Feb, and now hubs and I just have mom.. who is still fairly sharp, but starting to show some worrisome behaviors. God help us both!

Pamz, that is so wonderful. If he can do that until he is bedridden, I will be very happy. My Mother can still wipe her bottom too. Other wise I would have it a lot rougher. I have to help Joe find the bathroom already, but I can do that. My Mother will try to take one step now since I got the lift, she hate it. Yay! My back is very tired but I can deal with stuff so far. I pray a lot! Then I don't lose my temper. The spoiled brat in me keeps trying to surface! I am an only child and never once thought I would be doing this! If they try it goes a long way in my book. They always thank me for what I do. That makes me feel better! If you all can do this I can too! I love them both so much! Joe likes to play with our Grand children, twin boys four years. But at times he gets hateful and wants all of the toys???????? They just laugh at him so far!

Garden.. I have no idea.. but he is not trying to fight anyone!
College...you will be glad to know Dad was able to go potty by himself up until he was bedridden, even when he could no longer eat. We just had to help him find his way to and from the bathroom. He did fight us sometimes, but he was able to orient himself and clean himself up pretty well. Sounds like your family is good with him, my was always great with dad. That helps sooo much

You all are wonderful, I feel better already. He was diagnosed June of 2013 with dementia. The neurologist did MRI and all the other tests. Joe takes the pills Aricept in the morning with Namenda 10 mg. At night he takes another Namenda 10mg. Joe has sundowners and hallucinations sometime. He gets a check up every 6 months. We give Melatonin at night and it worked for a while, last week I questioned his doctor about this and he said to double the dose. Last weekend he became very weak and confused. I took him to the ER and they confirmed everything is fine, he was just dehydrated a bit and very weak from not eating when he stayed up all night and slept all day. He did that twice last week, so by Saturday he was a mess. I was scared. Now I know what to do. It was very hard to get blood from him at the ER visit. They stuck him 3 times before it worked to draw blood. I guess that was because he was dehydrated or maybe his veins are getting bad. I don't know, I forgot to ask about that. The CT Scan showed atrophy. Very noticeable from the other CT scan done in Jan. 2010 when he had his last brain injury. This is all so sad. Yes I do take care of my Mother 94 and my husband 73. I get 2 days of six hours respite per month. When things get worse I will go after more help. Maybe sooner. I always pray this stuff will go away or no get bad for a long time. I go along with his stories and listen. I just hate it when he gets so dramatic at Family functions, but they all understand and love him very much! He still goes to bathroom by himself. He only has problems with underwear getting in his way when he tries to hurry. Then is the only time he has an accident, thank GOD for that. Thank you all for helping me!

Babalou, thanks for stopping by to comment.

Pam, what character does your friend's husband think he is on JAG? I ask because it's hands down my favorite series....ever. And there are quite a variety of good characters.

I don't know what stage this is, but my dad did the same thing. We could get him all comfy watching Walker TX Ranger or Bonanza,, and then suddenly one day he got 70 years younger as WAS Walker or Hoss. Now a friend of mine is going through this with her hubs. We moved dad onto Andy Griffin or game shows, her hubs is on JAG...LOL.. Good luck, and change the channel!

College, are you really caring for your husband AND you mom? Lots on your plate!
Given how young your husband is, I would get him in for a complete physical and then a complete dementia workup. As it was explained to me, a real workup for dementia includes brain imaging (usually an mri) an evaluation by a neurologist ( who looks at balance, reasoning, memory and the functioning of the nervous system), and paper and pencil testing by a neuropsychologist. That person delves deeper into memory, executive functioning, memory, sequencing, reasoning, problem solving, reality testing.

So, as an example, my mom's long term memory is pretty good, and she knows us. Left on her own, she would put on her coat before underwear. She misinterpret what she sees ( if a man in a suit walks by, the nh is being sold; if she sees a spill on the floor, the pipes have all broken and place is going to heck in a handbasket).

If your husband hasn't been worked up, please try to do so. If you have a rehab hospital that is affiliated with a med school, they often have the staff to do this. Otherwise, find a hospital with a geriatrics department.

But you want to get him checked out by his pcp first to make sure this is not a uti or something easily treated.

The delusions and loss of cognitive function should be brought to the attention of a physician. Others (such as Babalou) are more familiar with the kinds of meds that are needed at this stage as well as the best type of physician to see (I believe it would be a neurologist) but don't have any expertise in this area.

But do get him to see an appropriate physician and get medication.

As to the delusions, even though they're upsetting, are they really causing any harm? One of the coping mechanisms is picking and choosing your actions. If it makes him feel good to think he's an actor, that might even help detract from the confusion about pills and Kleenex.

I bet it is overwhelming caring for two people in your home. I can't imagine it.

I have discovered that the delusions decreased when my loved on when on Cymbalta. She still has some, but not as many. For the most part, they aren't harmful ones though. She thinks her primary doctor sleeps on the couch in their lobby. She thinks one of the staff members took her out to eat dinner on a large, black horse. And she sometimes tells me she is at another place when I call her, like a mall she used to frequent. Before she was on meds, she thought that local newscasters paid her a visit and that they had animals surrounding them on their news show. She liked it though. I don't recall any scary delusions. If they bring your husband happiness, I would just go along with it.

I'm not sure what stage it is that you have delusions. My cousin has severe dementia and she still has them. She's had them since Moderate stage.

I would be overwhelmed, too. Anyone would.

In my opinion, you are at the dyke-plugging stage...where you'll be likely to be for some time. His behavior becomes more bizarre? You adjust just as fast. And you begin picking your battles, if you aren't already.

Adapt...try to stay a step ahead...manipulate and cajole.

Of course, at least for the time being, you are taking over his meds...handing them to him with his wash-down of choice and standing there waiting for him to take them.

This site is great for bringing your challenges looking for solutions.

There's probably not a person on these boards that doesn't understand your pain.