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What stage would you find this issue developing?

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Thank you all who posted on this. My husband is not there, yet... but seems to accuse me daily of infidelity with that guy he sees around. I have a feeling... Will tell him thats' the guy who trims the trees, the horseshoer you hired?????
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Reply to Horseshoer
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Meet him where he is. The two of you in front of the mirror..ask him "who do you see"? Touch your face in the reflection. If he sees someone else, look at him up close..who do you see? If he sees you as someone else.."it is ....your daughter and wait for the answer and repeat with a hug. What he has seen in the mirror...ask him who it is and see if you can take him into the past and then back to the present with reality. If he identifys the person he sees in the mirror. Yes Daddy she or he is in heaven now. If he wants more info you have a conversation going. You have to try to get into his delusional world. He needs your "contact" with "you".
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Reply to DKelso34
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Imho, he may have to the lost the ability to recognize himself. I am not a medical professional, but his illness no doubt is progressing.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Covering mirrors worked pretty well for my Mom when Dad saw another guy in the mirror. She left them covered for a short time, couple of months, then removed them and he didn't even notice. This is just one aberration, of which there are a few, that you will have to contend with.

So, just hang in here. It's tough, I'm sure, as I am now dealing with my Mom's dementia. I think the worse stage is when they start accusing you of all kinds of mistreatment or collusion. I've found that the best thing to do is to just agree with them or say you understand and that you'll take care of it.
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Reply to nebbish1964
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My main comment was posted in response to another. I didn't want this message to get lost/missed (sometimes we see updates in email, but perhaps don't see them because they are not the "newest".) This part is repeated here, so that it won't get missed:

Stages are hard to pinpoint. While there are many similarities seen when dementia progresses, and they are often in the same "stage" as others, there is no real hard facts to "pinpoint" someone's stage. He could share symptoms from multiple stages.

What is important is to know what symptoms you might encounter and how to deal with them. Kids develop on their own timeline, and generally there are ranges for assessing progression. Some walk or talk earlier than other, some later. Some grow faster, some slower. It is the same with dementia. More than likely he will exhibit some, many or all of the symptoms, but in his own way.

Being informed as to what symptoms you might deal with and being armed with ways to deal with each is much more useful than a chart to monitor progression!
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Reply to disgustedtoo
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Very interesting question and useful responses. Lately, my husband stares at the mirror a lot in the bathroom. I am wondering what he is seeing.
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Reply to Worriedspouse
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renoir Jun 9, 2020
Ask him. "Do you see (name) in there? How are you doing today?"
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when he start wandering you can bet it has gone into the later stages
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Reply to cetude
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I had never thought of this one before! Makes sense. Heck, sometimes I don't recognize that middle aged lady in the mirror either!!
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Reply to againx100
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Cover the mirrors or remove them for now. If you think about it, dementia is deleting current info from the brain and the older stuff remains. In his mind he may remember himself as a much younger man. Then he sees the old man in the mirror and it's just not a person he recognizes. This could also be created by seeing old family pics around the house. He sees his younger version and his brain says that's what he looks like now. Maybe take some newer pics of him and place in frames over the older pics and see if he understands that it is him.
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Mary1949 Jun 9, 2020
Thank you this makes perfect sense. He says that the man in the mirror is trying to take him down, he gets very upset & angry at the man in mirror.
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I covered up the mirrors my mother might see in passing - eg Contact stuck over the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. This was mostly because the sight of her poor old body upset her, not because she didn't recognise herself. But it might help to limit the number so that Dad understands that he is looking in a mirror, not catching sight of someone different.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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The person he is seeing in the mirror might be his present self who he doesn't recognize anymore. Dementia seems to take recent memory first so some people forget how hold they are or what physical problems they may have or even how they look. If you expect to see your 40 year old self in the mirror and see instead an old man that is definitely an different person.

After my mother started having time disorientation, I placed a photo collage with images of her with other family members across the years. First image is a family photo with her parents and siblings, next one is her in high school with her best friend, next wedding photo, family photo with my brothers, extended family gathering, church family portrait, her with first grandchild, etc. all the way up to a photo with her youngest great-grandson in my home. I even framed an image of her broken femur to "explain" why her knee is working well anymore. It helps my mother reorient to present days. Perhaps something similar could help your husband, at least for a while?
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Reply to TNtechie
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Mary1949 Jun 9, 2020
Thank you for your response. We are entering into a new phase of his illness. We have appointment with neurologist next week. 🙏
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Be careful. I've heard of men thinking the dude in the mirror is insulting them, and trying to punch them out, and end up slicing their hands to pieces on broken glass.
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Reply to HelloImMinsu
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Mary1949 Jun 9, 2020
Thank you for your response.
I try to talk him out of it. I try to keep him distracted when he is in that zone.
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