My husband has dementia and is starting to forget where the bathroom is and starting to have accidents in the house. Is now the time for diapers and then show him to sit on toilet? Thank you.
People with dementia may be able to use the toilet, they just can not figure out where it is. One strategy is to put a large picture of a toilet on the bathroom door, maybe a large written "toilet" sign also. A light on. Furniture and clutter out of the way so there is a clear path. Etc. I think maybe it was a Alzheimer conference that I heard these ideas, not sure. It is about taking a look at the environment with fresh eyes, say maybe there is a dark hallway to the toilet, then brighten it up so the person can notice the destination.
Workinglady1940, what ever you do, do not call them "diapers" in front of hubby. Depends makes some good looking grey and also blue toss-away undergarments. They look and feel more like regular underwear.
My Mom finally got my Dad to wear those when she got tired of cleaning up the oops when Dad couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. At first Dad refused. Then Mom handed him the cleaning supplies to clean up his messes. Next thing I knew Depends was one Mom's grocery list :)
If hubby still balks at wearing Depends, tell him that firemen wear them while on the job.
Yes, it's probably time for disposable underwear. Several good answers here. Try to figure out if he's unable to recognize the urge to urinate, or he just can't hold it long enough to reach the bathroom, remove clothing and go. In the case of my DH, he just can't hold it long enough to get there, undress, etc. So when I see him heading for the bathroom, I help him undo his pants and grab a portable urinal. 90% of the time, that is enough to take care of a potential problem. The rest of the time, the Depends does the job.
Be sure to talk to the doc also. There are medications for some types of incontinence that are ok for dementia patients.
And by the way, get a zipper cover for the mattress, mat for favorite chair, etc., before they are ruined. Blessings, Jamie
I read where changing the color of the toilet seat can help. Thus no more white on white. Don't get a real dark color as the patient might think it is a hole and be afraid to sit on it. Or if you can still find these, those toilet seat fuzzy covers to try out first, but the seat itself would still be white.
Also read about painting the wall behind the sink and toilet a different color then the other walls also help. I remember the one wall in my Mom's long-term-care bathroom was a dark rose, and the other walls in the bathroom were beige.
He is going to need more supervision. Do you have help?
Yes, it is time for disposable undies and for him to sit on the toilet. It may also be helpful to have him on a bathroom schedule. At this point he no longer has much control once he gets the urge. If you take him into the bathroom every two hours (or whatever seems appropriate) and help him to sit, that might avoid some accidents.
Sorry to hear what is happening. I know its hard to see someone you love struggle. After my dad's stroke that is one of the things he had to adjust to. I bought the Men's Depends brand and it feels like underwear. My dad didn't mind. And he also started to use the toilet sitting down. I also installed grab bars around the toilet to make it easier to stand and sit down. In a way this is keeping him as independent as possible. I hope this works better for him.
... you don't call them diapers in front of him and you especially do not hand him a roll of paper towels and the Lysol ... that suggestion would never enter my mind with my mother or any adult deserving respect regarding loss of control of bowels or urine... and to be quite frank, it's deeply disturbing to hear someone on here suggest that... that my friends is a form of mental abuse let alone pretty g-d*mn cruel. I call my mothers briefs "the absorbitive undies" ... she's not ashamed to use those words herself. And for a man to have loss of control in those areas is deeply shaming and they are embarrassed even if they have dementia the moments of clarity will eb and flow, so be gentle and respectful with him as he hopefully would have been with you. Constant prompting him to visit the restroom is key. Knowing how much fluid and food and timing that as close to natural function can help you manintain the accidents, it won't stop them, it will just help minimize.
My husband was always very nervous when he had to go to the bathroom (pee or poop). Most of the time he couldn't make it in time. He didn't like messing himself and when I bought some Depends for him, he would only wear them when we were going out that day somewhere. He slowly started using them everyday because it gave him a feeling of 'safety'. He started sitting on the toilet years ago because he disliked standing waiting to finish peeing. LOL......So I was lucky there. I still had to clean his messes now and then but it worked out for us. And by the way, he would call them bloomers! That's the only name he would understand when I would refer to them. (He's 82 years old, in the 6th stage of dementia, and living now in a NH. )
My Mom finally got my Dad to wear those when she got tired of cleaning up the oops when Dad couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. At first Dad refused. Then Mom handed him the cleaning supplies to clean up his messes. Next thing I knew Depends was one Mom's grocery list :)
If hubby still balks at wearing Depends, tell him that firemen wear them while on the job.
Be sure to talk to the doc also. There are medications for some types of incontinence that are ok for dementia patients.
And by the way, get a zipper cover for the mattress, mat for favorite chair, etc., before they are ruined.
Blessings,
Jamie
I read where changing the color of the toilet seat can help. Thus no more white on white. Don't get a real dark color as the patient might think it is a hole and be afraid to sit on it. Or if you can still find these, those toilet seat fuzzy covers to try out first, but the seat itself would still be white.
Also read about painting the wall behind the sink and toilet a different color then the other walls also help. I remember the one wall in my Mom's long-term-care bathroom was a dark rose, and the other walls in the bathroom were beige.
Yes, it is time for disposable undies and for him to sit on the toilet. It may also be helpful to have him on a bathroom schedule. At this point he no longer has much control once he gets the urge. If you take him into the bathroom every two hours (or whatever seems appropriate) and help him to sit, that might avoid some accidents.
Is he mobile? Can he walk to the bathroom?
Sorry to hear what is happening. I know its hard to see someone you love struggle.
After my dad's stroke that is one of the things he had to adjust to. I bought the Men's Depends brand and it feels like underwear. My dad didn't mind. And he also started to use the toilet sitting down. I also installed grab bars around the toilet to make it easier to stand and sit down. In a way this is keeping him as independent as possible. I hope this works better for him.
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