My husband is stage 6 Alzheimer's, he has now been diagnosed with CHF and his liver is failing. Any advice?

Dear Diana,
I will be praying for you and your husband. I will pray that he accepts the faith as his time draws nearer.. You do the same. I know how upsetting that can be. Just speak the truth to him about your beliefs and let him know there is nothing to fear! I thought my brother died with no beliefs, but a friend of his who spoke at his funeral assured me that he had a great deal of faith! It was so comforting to me. I wish you the best. Yes, Hospice House is very expensive, but Medicare pays for Hospice at home, in a nursing home, or at a hospital. You still need to get in touch with Hospice. Just give them a call and explain everything. Love and prayers to you Diana and your husband. from Nancy

That is so comforting to know. I tried the VA but we have just over he max in savings so don't qualify. All has to come out of pocket. We see the doctor tomorrow and going to view another home on Tuesday. Prayers are desperately need since my husband does not have a close relationship with The Lord like I do. He is scared and I am exhausted. Thank you so much for keeping me up to speed on what is available to me. I am learning so much.

We did get into the VA system. There is a ton of paperwork to fill out and they are stretched for care. They tried their best and I appreciated it, but when Dave left there to go to the Hospice House, he got one on one care. They checked on him about every 20 minutes and pampered him. They were so gentle and kind. I wanted to be there for his final hour, but Bill my husband and his brother, already has had AD for 9 years and he did not want to see Dave dying. So when it actually happened, I missed it. The nurses called me right away. One nurse apologized to me. She said she prayed the Lord's Prayer as he was dying and she hoped she hadn't offended me. Me, I was so grateful because that is exactly what I would have done. Hospice took total care of Dave when I could not get there because of Bill. The room he stayed in was huge, had all the comforts of home, including a pull out couch. We could have stayed there 24/7 if we wanted to. They did all the work! It was a huge burden taken from me.

Thank you wamnanealz for the guidance. I will contact them and see if I can meet with someone to get my questions answered. I really appreciate your advice. I spent all day getting involved in finding some help for us. I'm checking out homes in the area. I visited the VA today for his benefits but didn't get far there. The lines were out the door so left my contact info so I can get some info from then too. God bless you too.

Talk to Hospice anyway just to get their opinion. They will talk to you and not mince words. They believe that the person should be kept comfortable and offer palliative care. If he is actually ready for hospice, then keeping him hospitalized will just prolong the inevitable. If you can't part with him, I understand, but I would feel terrible if I kept a person alive just so it would take longer to die. I don't know if I am making myself clear, but I would want the person to not have to go through anymore procedures and just be comfortable. Honestly, Hospice was wonderful for my dad and for my brother-in-law. They took care of Dad for quite a while, he got better and about 9 months later they came back to help him for his last week on this earth. For my brother-in-law Dave, they came to the Veteran's home and then when a room opened up, he went to the beautiful Hospice house for his last week on earth. Both were kept perfectly comfortable during their final days. Dad was at home and I took care of him myself with my husband's help. Good luck to you! And God be with you both.

Thank you to all of you who took the time to respond. I discussed Hospice with our doctor and he recommended hat although my husband qualifies for Hospice that he would not be allowed to take his needed medications and dr said he believes that we should wait so he can be treated by specialists and still have use of hospitalization if needed. He also had a quadruple bypass and has had 5 stents. He is diabetic also. He has so many things against him. I still have him at home but am applying at local dementia care facilities and filing for his VA benefits to assist with cost. Thank you to wamnanealz for posting about the stages. From the descriptions, you can tell where they are. My husbands has accelerated within the last month since he was last hospitalized for a severe UTI and dehydration.

Thank you, wamnaneatz, for the helpful information. My husband has many of the things you mention as well. I cannot ask him to do anything. He can not follow the simplest instructions. He, too, forgets to eat or that he's eating. He doesn't like taking showers, but I think he's still wiping. I dread thinking of that problem! I will do some checking on the Internet. Thanks, again.

You need hospice NOW!

What a you both have been through, my Mum has severe dementia and bowel cancer. But no pain as of yet. She is very happy most of the time - other than when she needs to wake up. I know how far its been up to this point - and I can see how much further there is to potentially travel on this caregiving journey. I wish you all the support, the deep satisfaction for the distance you've gone, and some ease to the ending.

to CampyB, just google Alzheimer's and you will get lots of sites that will list the stages. Some list 7 and some list 4. My husband is not bedridden yet. In fact he is extremely healthy, except that I have to help him do every detail of his daily living activities. He can't dress himself, can't turn on the TV, can't operate any kind of technology, can't get into bed alone without my help, can't get his own lunch, or remember to eat it. If he is eating, and gets up to go to the bathroom by himself he will forget he was eating and go and watch the TV without finishing. He can still go to the bathroom, but he wears Depends. He doesn't remember to wipe himself or wash his hands. Doesn't know how to brush his teeth! Cant even use the electric shaver! He is basically helpless without me. If I ask him for a glass of water, he doesn't know what I mean. We are at late stage 6 and will be in 7 soon. That is when he forgets who I am and starts having hallucinations, etc.
At 7 they usually become bedridden, and forget how to swallow, everything goes then! I hope you are not at that point now!

Call hospice. They will make him comfortable and they will be there for the family too. My prayers are with you during this difficult time.

Definitely call hospice. It sounds as if their specialized comfort care is needed.

As to the stages, their are four stage and seven stage scales depending on the organization however your husbands many health issues plus his obviously advanced Alzheimer's would indicate a need for comfort care.

Take care of yourself, too. This is tough to go through and hospice is generally good about providing guidance for the family.
Carol

The Sun Health Research Institute in Sun City, AZ which specializes in research and study for Alzheimer's and dementia only lists four stages of Alzheimer's - mild, moderate, severe and death.

Your husband is showing signs and symptoms of the end of life. Perhaps hospice is your next choice. My prayers are with you.

My thoughts are same as the others. I, do, have a question - hope you don't mind my asking here. How do you know what stage a person is in? My husband has had Alzheimer's ( or dementia) for several years. Not sure how many yrs. - who can tell? I have never had anyone mention what stage?

Courage, Call Hospice. My prayers are with you

Yes, I am sending prayers for you and your husband, Diana. He has been through so much already and with Stage 6 it must be really hard for him to understand any of what is happening to him. My husband is at late stage 6 too and he is perfectly healthy. I would be grateful the the end is near for him. I would call Hospice too. He should't have to go through any more treatments. He has fought a good fight! I hope you don't take what I said the wrong way. We are grateful for time with our beloved, but we are all headed in the same direction. I believe that God is there for all of us. And something that our priest said made me feel really comforted. When you get to heaven, your body and mind are fully restored. When you get there your husband will be as you knew him when he was healthy. That thought really brings me comfort. I hope it does for you too.

I'm with Maggie on this.
Not sure when your husband is now (I'm assuming in a nursing home?)
I'm also assuming Palliative care at home for him at this point is not an option/something you would want to consider?

Wow, he has fought through an awful lot hasn't he? Had a tough time of it. Just been through this with my mum. She ended up contracting pneumonia and it took her in a week. (Was actually very peaceful way for her to go, so after all the medical poking and prodding and trying to get her over the latest ailment, she was literally at peace.
(Some people said 'It must be a relief', but that made me very mad. It was not a 'relief' for me. I adored my mum and we were given hope she would pull through 2 weeks before she died)
But I can see that for mum it was probably the kindest thing. It stopped being clear whether she was fighting to live, or whether it was just us fighting to keep her with us. I think for the last couple of months it was probably the latter.
It was incredibly hard to accept we 'had' to give up fighting. But once we did, a kind of peace settled on us all. The fact that I was no longer constantly going nose to nose with over-stretched hospital consultants over her treatment did enable me to just spend time with her holding her hand, and reassuring her I'd look after dad and my siblings. (She died 2 hours after that)

I will say prayers for you both at this time.
Big hug.

Call hospice and have him evaluated. That's not a decision you need to make. If he fits their criteria and you're comfortable not calling 911and administering only comfort care, call them. They'll let you know.

Me personally? I'd call them.