Follow
Share

So he likes a drink -pre Xmas a major Crisis -Im going or you get help. He did. But would like a few pints 3-4 times a week Recently admitted with pneumonia and had fluid around lungs and is retaining fluid -CCF etc Overeats. Seriously obese-116kg at 5'9" all creating massive belly. Worsening CKD is making GP hold back on weight loss jabHas had major surgery for femoral artery has a stent in heart and one in groin. Sleeps most of the day. I can try and try and to do healthy meals try to get us to do things -alcohol free BUT he sabotages. Goes for a drink with his mate . Due to fluid supposedly restricted he went in whiskey. That is 5whiskeys 3 times in 5 days plus two take out. Husctake out Indian is lamb skewer starter. Chicken tikka main chicken madras main Madras sauce onion bahjas chips and a nan.My meals includewould be chicken sometimes in a home made spicy sauce salad and a low carb wrap. He will buy sausage rolls (pastry) when out and I find the bag!!He can be unpleasantly moody if I am trying to get him to watch his sugars, his BP, not drink etc etc. Considering where his health is am I literally flogging a 'dying' horse. Should I ease up. Let him enjoy his beer-he could keep it to 14units most weeks. Can't accept size of Indian but perhaps stop trying to diet him??Any clues of life expectancy

Was his liver checked? Extended stomach can be liver desease too. If you can afford to leave, do it. Then you don't have to watch him kill himself. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

He needs a hospice consult to tell him what his behavior is causing. His alcoholism is out of control and he should hear that he is nearing the end of the road
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MACinCT
Report

I am sorry, and empathize. Sadly, you can only be a helpful support to his health if *he* is willing to take charge of his own health and life, and change what he does.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Goddatter
Report

Your husband has chosen his course and behavior and isn’t interested in changing. Stop mentioning it or trying at all. Don’t assist him physically as his size could cause injury to you. Time for you to decide if this is a relationship you want to stay in, you deserve better in life and I hope you will have the courage to find it
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

How old is your husband? What country are you in? You can't have his recovery for him. You gave him an ultimatum but he really didn't hold up his end, so you should leave. You aren't just flogging a dead horse, you're trying to drag it to some destination it doesn't want to go. Time to stop enabling and make yourself the priority. I'm so sorry but you need to leave. Stop threatening or discussing it with him. You've given him ample chances and warnings. He doesn't care, so neither should you. Just do it and save yourself. If they have Al-Anon where you live, please attend a meeting so you can stop enabling him or any other alcoholic.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter