My husband of 49 years has just begun to show signs and is in denial. How can I help him?

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He takes on tasks he can no longer do and gets frustrated when he fails.
His driving is not what it should be but he refuses to let me drive.

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Fl has a reporting form at the following url. http://flhsmv.gov/FloridaGrandDriver/reportUnsafeDriver.html Reporter remains anonymous. U of Fl has developed an eval test for the caregiver to take to help make a decision if you have doubts about reporting. https://ufhealth.org/news/2013/uf-develops-online-screening-tool-help-caregivers-identify-risk-older-drivers I asked the doc to order a test for my husband last wed because of his memory problems and she said " Don't you ride with him when he drives? You can tell him when to turn." Sheesh.
Sorry, I just posted this somewhere else by accident so you may see it twice.
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You could both sign up for driver evaluation at the DMV and let THEM decide who can drive and who cannot. That is the safest answer.
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SunnyG13, let him keep doing the tasks, keep him busy, he needs to keep using his mind otherwise he will just sit in a chair and give up. Find non-complex things that you know he could do to help you around the house, guys like to feel they are contributing to the household. Even opening a tight jar lid makes them feel proud :)

What do you mean by his driving is not what it should be? Is he more cautious? Nothing wrong with that. Is he driving slower than he use to? Nothing wrong with that as long as he is driving at the posted speed limit. Is his parking off center? Nothing wrong with that, lot of younger people can't get between the lines. Or is he mixing up his directions? Not seeing a Stop sign or red light? Pulling out into traffic without looking?

If you live here in the States, the American Automobile Association has senior driving courses that would be useful.
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My mom wasn't safe to drive but she drove anyway. She got into an accident, it was her fault, and she was sued. That was the beginning of the end for her because it was so stressful and so upsetting.
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Well, taking on tasks he can't do any longer probably just reminds him of any plumbing problem with a drain he's ever fixed in his life. ;) THAT I wouldn't be worried about. We can't stop people from trying to do things that can no longer accomplish, right? He would be very resentful of that. I sure would be.

The big problem is his driving. If you believe he is unsafe to drive alone, then he can't drive alone. If you believe he's unsafe even with you with him running interference? Then you've got to take away the keys.

If he has a serious accident, it's your home and all your assets on the line, even with the best car insurance on Planet Earth. That's just the practical, scare-your-pants-off financial end of it. The REAL "end of it" is that he may be endangering others...some mom with two kids in the car...a pedestrian...or, if he gets the brake and gas mixed up? People innocently drinking their Starbuck's in a street cafe.

In this one issue, if in no other, you have to take the lead. If he's unsafe to drive? He doesn't drive. Period.
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