My husband has cognitive/memory issues and now he repeats himself with no recollection of doing so. What can I do?

Ask for a consult from a geriatric neurologist and get him in as soon as possible. Tell him the cancer doctor made the appointment if that will get him to go. Be prepared for him to deny that anything is wrong to the neurologist, but they are used to that.
Also call the Alzheimer's association in your area; they have a lot of support ideas and they won't care if he is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or not. Best wishes and lots of hugs.

Yes, I have been documenting EVERY THING and writing every thing down. For sure. I tell them, show them.... and the problem is that he sees V.A. doctors...who are P.A.'s and they could CARE LESS.... literally. They don't even really SEE him. They push him through and just could care less. It's very, very sad. So that is his primary doctor....not even a doctor.... and that is why I am having so many problems. I have paid to see professionals and seek help and talk to them....about the situation at hand.... and I am just so upset. I'm trying to keep my head clear and it's really upsetting. I work full time and barely have any time to myself...I don't, in fact. I appreciate everyone's help. Thank you all so VERY, VERY much. This is heartbreaking for me. I cry to myself at times....but am trying to keep it together. We just celebrated our wedding anniversary. I love this man....but at times do not recognize him. Thank you all. =)

To put it bluntly, you're not their patient and they have no duty of care towards you. Although frankly they should be interested in any information you can give them about their patient, and they shouldn't be ignoring what you tell them. Are you writing this down and presenting it to them in document form? Headed "Observations of behavioural changes" going back as many years as you've got a record for. I'd do that anyway - at the very least, it will give you a good, clear look at what you're having to deal with; and on top of that they won't be able to turn round later and say they didn't know what was happening.

Next, I absolutely agree with Sunnygirl: you must protect yourself *first*. If the lashings out switch from verbal to physical you will be in harm's way, and unfortunately there might be no warning signs.

So if no one treating your husband is responding to your concerns, take this up with your own doctor and seek advice on your own account. If your husband won't discuss the issues, you may have to consider removing yourself temporarily in order to force his hand: if he is unable to function alone, it will rapidly become clear and his medical teams will no longer be able to ignore you. Is there somewhere you could go?

Also think about what changes would make you feel safer and make you happier about your husband. Would you want him placed in care where you can visit him daily? Would you want support at home, or a helpline to call if there's a crisis?

It sounds as though what you would really like is for someone else to make your husband see sense and get treatment for his issues? That's going to be a problem, I'm afraid. It's in the nature of dementia that sense is the last thing the sufferer will see. However; I agree with you that one of his many attending practitioners ought to be prepared to broach the topic with him. If they too get an angry reaction, then at least they'll understand what you're dealing with.

What does his regular physician say to you? Is he no more sympathetic than the NIH ones?

No....no surgeries, no chemo. he has had the cancer since 03. His regular closely watches him in conjunction with the treatments. They work together and he receives a TON of tests and scans EACH month to check his entire body for everything to see the progression and there is nothing. He can't have ANYTHING going on or they would not proceed with the treatments. They are just injections and the memory issues have been going on for at least two years and started getting much worse before these treatments started with extremely severe mood swings. He is a kind and gentle man and I've never seen him act this way before. So that is why I'm concerned. I've tried reaching out to every doc at NIH and can't get any one there to even help me. I'm trying to think of/come up with another way because I can't say a word to him. He blows up. =(

8/22/16..... Beachlife, by chance is your hubby on chemo for his cancer. It is not unusual for someone to have "chemo brain" where one's brain is foggy, hard to remember things, etc.

Hubby is upset having cancer, that is one really scary disease, and he probably knows he's not thinking correctly, so that just adds to him being really grumpy. If he repeats a story, just listen like it is the first time you heard it.

And by chance did your hubby have any recent surgery? If yes, for every hour "under" that means one month of recovery... thus a 3 hour surgery would mean it would take 3 months before one's brain become clearer. But if he already had early stage of dementia, surgery could accelerate the dementia :(

By the way, oncologist aren't known for doing a urinary tract infection test. They don't even think about that. Your hubby's primary doctor would need to do that.

I would protect myself. Get information on to stay safe.

I would consult with an attorney on Elder Law for estate planning purposes. Powers of Attorney, etc. AND a Family Law attorney to see what your rights and obligations are under marital law. You might find one who does both or has them in the same firm.

Finding out what is causing the bizarre and troubling behavior would be good, but I would protect myself first. I will say that his behavior sounds a lot like my cousin's leading up to her dementia diagnosis. She ran her own household, paid bills, acted normal in many respects until a couple of months before her diagnosis, when she could no longer do any of those things. Hostility came just before she was not able to function.

Thank you for your suggestions. I know he doesn't have any medical problems as he is undergoing treatment for cancer and he has no other problems believe it or not and I've talked to his cancer doctors about testing him for dementia and they are BLOWING ME OFF. I can't believe it, but they are,.....which really upsets me. But he takes NO meds..... and they told me it is not the treatments....they are experimental....and they said it is nothing they are giving him or doing to him ... so sit seems to be pointing in the dementia directions. But I am just stuck as I can't say a word to him as he attacks me. =(

It may be dementia or he may have a urinary tract or some other sort of infection, that can also cause dementia symptoms. That alone is a very good reason for him to go to the doc for a diagnosis. Also if he is stressed about so!ething that can cause dementia symptoms. Another reason to visit the doc? Some things that cause dementia are reversible but only if treated appropriately. So, get him to the doc.

One suggestion, it is time to get all of his elder planning documents in place. Will, Powers of Attornet, etc.