My MIL was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment, which might have progressed to early stage dementia – her nutrition is terrible and who knows how long she hasn’t been taking her pills properly (including for thyroid and blood pressure). She lives alone in her house, basically inhabiting two rooms, doesn’t shower, doesn’t change her clothes. My husband is now her DPOA, has gotten the bills in order, goes over every two weeks; I go sometimes and work on some cleaning (including laundry and mending). My non-expert but informed evaluation is that she needs someone to come in 5-7 days a week for maybe 3 hours a day, to make sure she takes her pills, eats one good meal a day (instead of surviving on 3-4 bottles of Ensure), gets some exercise, and has someone to interact with (and some reason to not smell and look bad). Either that, or assisted living, if she ever becomes willing. The problem at the moment is that my husband, a scientist who rather likes to look things up and research them, is refusing to research MCI/dementia and various care alternatives. He sometimes gets so frustrated that he yells at his mother, tells me “She’s a grown up, she has the right to live that way/kill herself if she wants”, or says that she’s nuts, and frequently accuses her of lying when she says she’s done something and she hasn’t. I honestly can’t tell when she’s lying to get us off her back, or when she’s simply confused, but because he won’t research the condition, he can’t even consider the confusion alternative. And he continues to expect things of her that are probably too much (like sending her to the doctor for a report without one of us being there). I’ve sent him Internet links and offered him various books that I’ve accumulated while learning about my mother’s dementia. I thought he might like The 36-Hour Day, the first book I read. But he just won’t look at these things, and I don’t know why. I know, I need to ask him why he won’t. But I thought that perhaps someone who had faced this, in themselves or someone else, might be able to explain to me or have some ideas that would help. He doesn't deny his mother's condition ... he just won't learn about it!