My husband refuses to go to adult daycare. Any advice?

Maybe the people who grew up in daycare while their parents worked, didn't like it then, and wouldn't like it now should be exempt from adult daycare.
They could plan ahead, find somewhere else to be.

MEMA64, It seems your mom is "refusing" a lot. When my mom's dementia progressed to the stage where it was worrisome or dangerous, I found myself trying to reason with her and usually giving in to her. I was getting so stressed that she would injure herself, etc. Finally, I took this class for caregivers that was offered locally through the S.A.I.L. Program and learned to say "Yes" when Mom said "No." It will be very hard at first and you may feel like the meanest person but sometimes, for their own health (and yours) and safety, it is time for you to take charge. I found that it was easier at times by treating my mom as I would treat a toddler. Not all the time but just when she was being stubborn or having a temper tantrum over something that was for her own good. Would you let a 3 year old say no to daycare or no to having a sitter? Of course we wouldn't. I found that when I didn't "ask" my mom to do things (giving her the impression she had a choice) and began just "telling" her this is what we're doing it went much better. Sometimes I had to tell a white lie about where we were going or why to get her into the car. She usually forgot the lie and enjoyed the ride. Sometimes I still may have to bribe her with a promise of a special treat to get her to do something such as ice cream... just as I did my son when he was 3. For your sanity and your Mom's safety, it sounds as though it is time for you or someone to explain very briefly to her that her doctor (or some outside authority figure) has made you responsible for her safety. You can even say, "I'm sorry Mom but this is what we Have to do). Give her no choice. When she trys to say no... you tune it out and don't argue; you just continue what you're doing. She will get used to you being the boss. It takes less time than you'd think. They will try to get away with saying "No" especially with someone new. Best of luck to you.

my friend's husband was the same way. A senior bus would come get him and he would be crying to leave her and then pissed as hell at her when he would come back(would beat her). Two things helped- Having a guy drive him who was a 'mans man" and he would tell the husband he was taking him "to work".
None of the baby-talk foo-foo woman stuff... he was going to work!
It worked for them. He would get up in the morning ready for work and looked forward to seeing the guy who drove the senior bus.