I have a husband who is really a horror to live with. What do I do?

Follow
Share

He constantly verbally abuses me. Calls me stupid, no matter what I do for him. He is verbally abusive and sarcastic, I have many medical issues myself but he is really adding to them. I am depressed and take my medicine but it all goes back to him. He does not shower daily, I have to fight with him and still does not. If he is going for a doctors appt. he will and if he goes to the gym he will but that's it. He sometimes smells so bad and his room is horrid. We have 2 floor home which is a killer for me to clean, he does not care and tells me just leave it and not clean. I have my adult son living with us, (thank God) but I really do not know how much more I can put up with. What do I do with him. You can not reason with him at all so no use even talking. Most of the time you can not have a conversation with him. He talks crazy. What do I do.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
10

Answers

Show:
Any doctor who says there's nothing to be done about early dementia clearly doesn't know what he's talking about. That's total hogwash.

There are medications that can help for a while. They should be talking to both of you about what to expect and how to respond. When to worry and when to call 911. Some doctors are just so hamfisted at this because it makes them feel unprepared - because they ARE!

A geriatrician will be better. They specialize in old age care, just as a pediatrician specializes in children and has special training on it.

Doctors who fail to refer their dementia patient to a geriatrician and neurologist ought to be smacked with their stethoscope.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I'm glad to read that the ball has started rolling, Sarah, and hope it leads to change for the better very soon. Please update.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am happy to say a medical psych is coming over next week. I called his doctor 3 times at least he said he really could do nothing He is in the early stages of dementia. But like I said it is worse living with him. I got a call later that day from the nurse that someone is going to access him. Great news. I want to thank all of you for contributing information, it is very helpful. Sarah0370.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Do not stay and put up with the abuse, if you are dealing with your own medical problems - his abuse will drag you down ...whether it is his personality or dementia not something you need to endure.. you must consider your options -- and really only have two - he goes or you go.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

SARAH0370 -

How old is your husband?
If he's been this way in the past, he is not going to change. It will get worse.
You and your son need to carefully make plans to take care of yourselves.

If your husband is not suffering from dementia, it may be depression, or something else medical or psychological. If he won't be helped, then you have no alternative but to look out for you.

If your husband does have some kind of dementia going on, then you need to call your area agency on aging and ask for a social worker to come do an assessment in the home, to get you connected to help. Heck, I might call them anyway. That social worker visit might be the foot in the door you need to make positive changes happen.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am so sorry you are going through this. like it was said above, if it is his true personality please get out. Look up domestic women shelters or agencies in your area and just ask for help they are always very very nice and will help you make a plan to leave. if it is dementia maybe you can get his doctors involved to get him placed in an assisted living or get in home care and then you can leave. Please do not give up your life for him it is not worth it. Try to stay strong and also you can ask your church for help if you go to church and even if you don't most churches have very kind people that will help you get on the right path to get out of that situation. You could also have your doctor write that it is not good for your health and that you need to go live by yourself for a while and you could pretend it's temporary and get yourself out of that situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Does he have dementia? He is acting like he does. If so no amount of arguing or explaining will solve anything . I guess you have to decide how much of this nasty behavior is just him or how much is the dementia. If it's his true personality, yea, I would get out.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

His doctor is not cooperative. He has had his bursts, when younger, of nastiness but now he is completely intolerable. I really am at my wits end, I sometimes wish I was dead. I have no life. He constantly watches me.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Is this a change in his behavior, or has he always been this way? Have you talked to HIS doctor about how he behaves?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Leave him. It's your only hope.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions